Harker quickly stumbled back. His soul has returned, and so did the pain of regret and shame.
Joan was alright besides the marks of his claws on her wrists. She looked at him with a mix of both concern and apprehension.
"I never thought you would... I mean, how could you…."
She was right. How could he? This wasn't like him at all. This wasn't him. He was possessed by the beast, and he let it overcome him. Lowered his guard for one second and it came slipping through.
Blank kneeled by her side, offering a handkerchief to wipe the blood from the puncture wounds. "I'm sorry. I should have watched after him better, but I fell asleep and….. Well, it's all my fault."
Joan shook her head. "No, it wasn't. Giving you a task like that isn't fair. No one would be able to stop him, you're lucky he didn't come to attack you."
Blank had the faintest hint of a smile on his lips. "I would prefer it if it was me he'd attack."
Harker's jaws clenched. This bastard….
Joan merely interpreted it as his guilt making him wish that he got hurt rather than someone else. "Check on Ahanu, he must have been woken up and so scared from what happened. I think he's coming to his senses now, but it's still dangerous. He can hurt me but it won't kill me."
Blank gave a rather self-satisfied smile at Harker, then back at Joan. "Of course."
He went to check on his brother, who was shivering at his own little bed space. No doubt that seeing a wendigo once more made him traumatized after his last experience with them. He went to hug Blank and pointed a finger at Harker, yelling 'maci pisiskiw'.
Monster. Harker could tell what it means without any translation.
And right now, at this state with his grayish skin and drool falling all over his sharp yellowed teeth, he truly was a monster.
But he can snap out of it. This was a temporary slip-up, he can fix it. He can fix it…..
"Joan, I'm sor—"
She moved away when his elongated arms and hands reached out towards her.
"It's not your fault either. You're just.... We all should have been more careful knowing what you are now."
What he was…..
She had said it. It was much more painful coming from her, coming from the one person that Harker thought would understand. In his fantasies, she accepted him wholeheartedly. But it was so different in real life. It wasn't straight up hating him or being disgusted by him…..
But it was cold. Just cold tolerance towards 'what he was'.
Why does he want her to accept that side of him? To accept the beast? It's wrong, it's sinful, it's not worthy of being accepted, and yet...
He still yearned for it.
"I... I need to sleep far away from you all from now on. I can't be trusted." Harker said.
But then he remembered there's also him. That's why he slept beside them in the first place. He can't trust himself, but he can't trust him either even though he was the 'less harmful' out of the two of them.
"Can I propose something?" The other monster wearing the body of a human said. "Before we go to sleep, Harker and I will be sleeping somewhere well-hidden enough. Somewhere that will block his path. It would also be better if we…."
His lips rose up as he said: "Slept tied up to each other."
Joan seemed to be considering it. Harker wanted to argue, but after what happened, it was the lesser of two evils. He needed to be restrained, even if it's with someone he'd rather not be alone with.
"So you will be sleeping in that narrow spot where Ahanu was? Will you guys fit there?"
"We can be tied back to back." Blank smiled. "You'd have to do the honors, though."
Joan took the rope, frowning. "Are you really okay with being tied to a.... After what just happened?"
"I'll be fine. I'll be able to wake up faster if he breaks free this way." The man just kept on wearing that shit-eating grin.
Harker clenched his fist, but relented. He went closer, though slow and cautious so as to not scare Joan and Ahanu. He had reverted back to his human form but he still didn't look that harmless either.
Joan sighed, wrapping the rope around him several times. "Move closer."
Harker grunted a response, and moved until his back was against Blank's. The bastard just whistled as he too got tied up with the rope and they were now connected from the torso to the waist.
"It'll be hard to walk this way, so be careful not to bump into anything as you go inside the manhole."
"We will." Blank said, they began leaping and inching towards that small crawl space together.
It was a silly sight that could be seen as funny by an outsider. But after what happened, nobody dared to laugh, not even Ahanu who gripped onto Joan's sleeves. She patted the little boy's head in comfort, and they went back to sleep next to each other.
It took a really long time before the tied-up duo reached their sleeping quarters. It barely fits them, when laying on their sides like this. It was like two bodies trying to fit in one coffin.
That comparison was really suitable due to the dark thoughts in Harker's mind right now about wanting both of them to just drop dead and end his misery.
Blank chuckled. "Maybe we'd fit more if we were actually on top of each other—"
"Shut up."
The nut job really didn't say anything else, and went to sleep. Harker meanwhile couldn't even blink without worrying that once he did, he would find himself having nightmarish fantasies again and jumping on top of Joan.
The next few nights went by like that. Blank no longer taunts him, as if he was already satisfied that he got his wish of being tied to a man with murderous tendencies.
But on the third night like this, he suddenly said he wanted to pee.
"No." Harker just said. "Go to sleep."
"Do you want me to just release it here, then?" Blank said in a sing-songy tone. "I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable and it would be rather embarrassing once Joan and Ahanu found us wet the next day."
ραпdα nᴏνɐ| сom Harker grumbled. And so, he had no choice both for them to leap out into the woods as Blank took a leak on a pine tree.
There was nothing but the sound of the splashing, and Harker just crossed his arms, remaining vigilant in case of any attack.
When he felt it was taking too long, he impatiently asked: "You done yet?"
Instead of answering, Blank said:
"You remind me of him very much, you know."
Harker knew what he meant.
He thought: 'How flattering, being compared to a murderer.'
"Don't get me wrong. I don't mean it just because of the desires of the flesh." Blank then said. "You remind me of him before all that. That time when….. Well, when he was my greatest friend, and the kindest person I've ever known."
His tone suddenly became soft, almost sympathetic.
"But being kind always comes with a price."
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