Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

Chapter 295 - 294 - The Wind Sage

Point-of-View: Sylvar Miirphys

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"I have summoned you four here for a reason...Belia Lasmodeus has declared war upon us, we must respond with defensive measures to counter this," Remarked Sant with a frown.

War? You've gotta be fucking kidding me...damn it, there goes my peaceful life. I mean, sure, it's boring at times, but I'd rather be bored than in a war. This is the absolute worst...

My name's Sylvar Miirphys, and I'm the current Wind Sage. Naturally, that means that I'm an Elf, currently about a hundred and fifty years old, take or give. Also, I used to be human...in a different world. But I'm not allowed to talk about that, the only one who knows is Sant, and Samsara, the God or whatever that reincarnated me.

Before I died, I was a twenty-three year old school teacher...who got fired for sleeping with a student, but in my defense, she was eighteen and it was consensual, so while it may or may not be morally wrong, it wasn't illegal. And a few days after I got fired, the father of the girl I banged broke into my house and murdered my ass...brutally. I'd rather not get into the details of what he did to me.

So, yeah, it wasn't the most dignified way to go, but hey, once you're dead, you're dead. Anyway, after I died and met Samsara, I asked if I could be reincarnated as something that isn't human, something with an extra long lifespan, to make up for dying so young in my previous life.

When I made that request, I was thinking of, like, a tortoise or a tree or something. But then he suggested Elves...and to clear up my confusion, explained that there are countless different realities and stuff. So then I asked to be reincarnated as an Elf with above average magic powers, and now, here I am.

This world is kinda strange...I found myself on a floating, invisible island, and later learned about the history of this world...and wow, humans are dicks in every world...I should know, since I was kind of a dick as a human myself. Meanwhile, Elves and the other three races that were up on the floating island are literally, biologically honest creatures.

It's not like it's impossible for them to lie and cheat and stuff, but it's highly against their nature...it'd be like telling a regular, normal human to never masturbate again. Sure, it's physically possible to abstain, but they'd never actually go through with it.

I'm a bit different to the other Elves and the other three races though, I do feel more compelled to be more honest than I used to when I was a human, but I'm still very much capable of lying and stuff. I've gotten away with a few accidents by lying, and no one ever questions me because the idea that one of their own would ever be dishonest with them is completely and utterly inconceivable to them.

Gotta say, being an Elf is way better than being human. Sure, it's kinda annoying that in terms of appearance, every Elf is limited to varying shades of blonde hair and varying shades of either blue or green eye colors...but other than that, it was pretty awesome.

Incidentally, I've got longish light blonde hair tied in a low ponytail that partially covered my eyes in front and really dark blue eyes. I'm among the taller Elves and am in pretty good physical shape, if I do say so myself.

Elves, in this world at least, age similarly to humans till they're around twenty-five to thirty, when they reach their physical peak, and then they stop physically aging for about a whopping eight fifty to nine hundred years, after which they continue aging at the same rate as a human, till they eventually die of old age, usually at around nine fifty to a thousand years old.

Also, the sense of time feels really different, it's a completely different perspective to what humans feel, it's like Elves don't get bored as easily as humans do.

Just as I'd requested when I was reincarnated, my magic abilities were well above average, I was among the strongest from all four races, and the strongest Elf, excluding the previous Wind Sage, that is.

After I displayed my abilities around the age of ten, Sant was suspicious of my intellect, which was naturally quite a bit advanced for a ten year old, and also the fact that I sometimes tended to use words and phrases that don't exist in this world. And the way I speak in general is a lot more casual to the more formal manner in which everyone else on the floating island speaks.

He then found out from Samsara that I was a former human that reincarnated as an Elf...apparently, I was one of the first people to be reincarnated into this world with my past memories intact. Anyway, Sant requested that no more former humans ever reincarnate with their past memories intact in any of the four races under his command, he's definitely got a strong distaste for my former species.

He made an exception with me and didn't reveal to anyone else that I'm a former human, though he was kinda cold to me for a long time...but after I was chosen to become the Wind Sage at the age of about a hundred, right as the previous one started to near the end of his life, I started to slowly but surely get him to warm up to me.

He now more or less treats me the same as he does with everyone else. And till now, this life has been awesome. Decent food, awesome powers, and the best part about being an Elf is that the women are freaking gorgeous. Not to mention that Elves are a very...how to put this...sexually open-minded species.

Monogamy and matrimony aren't a thing amongst Elves, mutual attraction, even a little bit, is more than enough to get it on with someone. As for the other races, interracial hook-ups aren't unheard of, but they are rare, and the other three races don't have the same intense sexual appetite that Elves do. Also, Elf chicks can only get impregnated once every hundred years or so.

For the record, I've hooked up with a ton of Elves and a couple of Halfling chicks, though that was kinda conflicting afterwards, since even the oldest Halfling looks like a fifteen year old kid at most. On that subject though, there aren't any half-breeds in the floating island, as in offspring between two different species.

That's mainly because, just like how the Elves can only conceive once every hundred or so years, the other three races have similar time constraints...so yeah, unless you've got really bad timing, you don't even need protection in this world as a non-human species!

Anyway, regarding my powers, my Wind Magic is unrivaled, especially so after the Wind Spirit inhabited my body and boosted my overall power significantly. As for regular spells, I wasn't very good at those, I could only cast simple spells like basic defensive barriers, and even that takes me like a full ten seconds to cast...the process of casting a spell is way too complicated, it's like forming a super complex equation that only gets more and more difficult the more advanced the spell is.

I was a literature teacher who sucked at math in my old world, so yeah...and not just math, anything that requires precise, accurate answers, like physics and coding. So, yeah, while my Wind Magic and physical abilities are among the best, my regular spell casting is among the worst of the worst.

Actually, if I'm being honest, I'm marginally the strongest of the current four Elemental Sages, Sant is the only one who's outright stronger than me...at least, I think so, I've never actually seen him fight or display his power, but I assume he's really powerful, considering that he created the floating island with nothing but a single spell.

And from what I've heard, humans in this world are supposed to be pretty weak, they were only able to subdue the Demi-Humans thanks to deceitful tactics, but in a direct fight, they were by far the weakest of all the races.

Not that I've actually seen a human in this world since reincarnating...though now that Sant's archenemy or whatever has brought the floating island down back to the rest of the planet, maybe I'll finally get to see some. Alright, then, back to the matter at hand...

"What do you require from us, Lord Laus?" Inquired Bell Fairbairn, the Lightning Sage, and a Halfling.

All Halflings are small in stature, you rarely see them more than five feet tall, and both their hair and eye colors range from varying shades of red and blue, which naturally includes purple too. They tend to have lifespans that are about half as long as Elves' lifespans are, at around four fifty to five hundred years.

Bell had short, straight light purple hair that framed her face, fell over her forehead and went down to her shoulders down the back, and light blue eyes that had a slight electric glow to them. Super cute, but kinda prickly and bitchy at times...

"I shall need each of you to rally those of your respective races that are capable combatants, and ensure that your young, weak and elderly are safe. That is, except for two of you...I would like two of you to go and scout the current human settlements, but I must insist that you do not start any conflicts. The two that take on this task shall delegate the task of rallying the capable combatants among their races to someone that they trust to carry out the task competently," Remarked Sant, looking around, "Which two of you would like to volunteer for the task of scouting?"

"Forgive me, my lord, but I do not believe that I will be able to control my hatred if I see the humans, I do not think I will be able to avoid causing conflict," Spoke up Giddur Duskbow, the Earth Sage, a Dwarf.

Right, so remember how I mentioned that these four races are almost totally incapable of deceit? Well, that doesn't mean that they can't be spiteful and hold onto grudges for a really long time, like the massive grudge they've unanimously held against the humans.

Dwarves were about the same height as Halflings, but while the latter are usually more slender and agile, Dwarves have a wider and stockier build, they're a lot less nimble and agile than Halflings, but their sheer raw strength is unrivaled, they're crazy swole. The variety in their hair and eye colors were pretty similar to humans, and their lifespans were marginally longer than the Halflings.

Giddur had medium length dark brown hair that was pushed back, black eyes and a muscular body, along with a thick brown beard that went halfway down his chest and was tied in a single, thick braid.

"What about you, Maie?" Inquired Sant, turning to the Fire Sage, a Fairy.

Normally, the Fairies would have both the Fire and Water Sage, but the Water Spirit was lost ages ago. Fairies in their natural forms are really small, they can easily fit in a hand, but they can also expand themselves to a more normal human-like size, though they prefer to stay in their smaller states.

They have a wide variety of hair and eye colors, and their hair is really bright and shiny. They also have the longest lifespans, upwards of two thousand years. They were the only race of our four allied races that had members currently alive that had been alive before the floating island was created.

"Forgive me, my lord, but...I would prefer not to interact with any humans," Frowned Maie Poplar, the Fire Sage.

She had shiny white hair tied in a fluffy high ponytail and bright red eyes, and was really cute and super nice, but Fairies reproduce asexually and have zero sexual desire, so yeah, seducing one is all but impossible.

Anyway, regarding this scouting thing...I wanna volunteer! I'm curious to see what humans in this world are like, and that aside, rallying all the Elves that can fight sounds like a lot of work, I'll just ask one of the Elf elders to do it for me.

"My lord, if I may, I believe that I will be able to control myself and keep from causing any conflict between us and the humans. I would like to volunteer for this task," I remarked, as I bowed.

Yeah, I don't really like talking like this, but I always get weird looks whenever I speak more casually, so now, I always talk all formal and stuff...at least, I try to, but sometimes my regular way of speaking accidentally leaks out.

"Ah, Sylvar...very well, then. However, I would prefer that two of you went...after all, you are not very adept with spell casting, Sylvar, you are unable to use any form of teleportation," He pointed out, before continuing as I sheepishly averted my gaze, "But that is not the only reason...you see, Belia informed me that a human has become the current Water Sage...she may be lying, but if not, then it would be safer if two of you-."

"What? A human is inhabited by the Water Spirit? That...that cannot be allowed! My lord, please allow me to go as well...I will try not cause any conflict, but if I encounter this alleged human...I will kill him," Volunteered Bell with a frown.

"Hm...very well, it would be best to restore the natural order and have the Water Spirit once again inhabit a Fairy...however, do not kill any other humans, I refuse to allow needless conflict."

"I...shall do my best to comply with that, my lord," She replied with a grimace.

"My lord, what exactly do you want us to do? Simply to covertly scout all the current human settlements or is there more?" I inquired curiously.

"I will be frank, we do not know nearly enough regarding the current state of this world...therefore, I will trust you to handle it as you see fit, Sylvar, though again, with the exception of the Water Sage, you may not kill any humans unless completely unavoidable," He replied.

"In that case, I have a suggestion, my lord...I shall approach each settlement, if they react with hostility, we will simply flee, and if they react with diplomacy, I will react in kind. Is that acceptable?" I suggested, before adding, "Additionally, what about bandits and such?"

"Tch, how cowardly," Muttered Bell with a frown.

"Yes, that is acceptable. And if you encounter humans that do not belong to any particular settlement, you may do as you please with such humans."

"Understood. And another thing, my lord...," I began with a wry smile.

"Yes, what is it?"

"If she goes out of control, do not expect me to rein her in," I replied, nodding at Bell, who glared at me in reply.

"Ah...yes, I understand," He sighed wistfully, before adding, "Now, then, you are all dismissed, carry out your assigned tasks right away, and return here before the 20th of May, the day on which Belia has declared that she will attack us, eleven days from now. Ah, and one more thing, Sylvar, Bell...from this day forward, the land that we occupy will be known as the Sant A.C. Laus Domain, or the Laus Domain for short...make sure that the humans know that if they cause conflicts with us, they will regret such foolishness."

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