Chapter 191: Impossible Love
ELIA
Elia's mouth dropped open. "Wait, WHAT?"
"Do you truly have no sense of it?"
"What are you talking about?"
Reth lifted her hand and put it to his nose, closing his eyes and inhaling like he would the scent of a flower, and smiling. "You are… you are making a miracle, Elia."
"You can't be serious?"
"Deadly. It is the greatest of miracles among the Anima and I am… I am overjoyed." Then he opened his eyes and his gaze was fierce—furious, if she was honest. "But you can't allow anything to stand between you and your health. Our pregnancies are always… precarious. You have to promise me that you'll do nothing that would harm you, or our cub."
"Reth, when…? How?"
He blinked. "Just now. Today. When… when we were so close… it… something was… didn't you feel it?"
She blinked. Then blinked again. "That was… connection. Emotional. We were… I mean, yes, something happened but—"
"It was our love, creating life. The Creator blessed our love, Elia, can't you see? Nothing is more important than that now!" He leaned toward her, beaming, his face alight with joy despite the terrible circumstances they found themselves in. "You're making a baby, Elia," he breathed.
She took his face in her hands and kissed him, just for that smile. He hummed in his throat and took her mouth, one of his hands sliding done to rest on her stomach and she had to pull away, shaking her head.
"Wait, wait… there's no possible way you can know that. It's far too early—"
"Maybe for a human," he said softly, peering down at her belly with a light in his eyes she'd never seen before. "But for us? It's clear. I thought you understood."
"Understood what?"
"Elreth," he said simply, stroking her hair back off her face. "If I'm not here, Elia, promise me you will name her after us."
"Stop saying that!" she cried and her tears threatened again. Shaking her head she pushed away his hand and closed her eyes, breathing deeply to get herself under control. "I can't… you have to stop saying that, Reth."
"Elia. Elia… look at me." The quiet command in his voice had her eyes open before she'd even thought about it. His were locked on hers and his jaw was tight. "You promise me you will do nothing to put our child at risk. You promise me."
"But… I don't even know if we have a child!"
"Elia, I know, even if you do not. Promise me."
"How can you be so certain—I'm human. Maybe it's different—"
"Apparently, not for us. I've heard the parents speak of it. And I recognized it immediately. Our hearts unified, Elia. We made love. And we made a baby."
"We've made love so many times!"
"Well, this time, love got made into something—someone. Please, Elia. Promise me." His voice was barely above a whisper. He leaned over her legs, his hands at her shoulders, his eyes pleading.
She swallowed.
"Elia… please."
Her lower lip trembled. How could he be so certain? Or was this a way to stop her from taking any action he wanted to protect her from?
But no… he was not a liar. She knew he wouldn't lie to her about this. But what if he was mistaken?
Was she willing to risk it?
She slumped, her shoulders sagging. "I promise," she whispered, her voice cracking. "But Reth… I don't know if I can do this if… if the worst happens…"
He gathered her into his chest and she clutched at him, still forcing back tears. She wouldn't lose this time with him to broken emotions. She was determined. But his face when he spoke about her being pregnant… it was all she'd ever dreamed of her entire life. It was the smile she'd seen in her parents when they were brimming with pride. The way she'd known she was loved. And Reth, a father… The thought made her entire body light up.
They should be celebrating right now. They should be planning and dreaming, and making love.
Not sitting on a mountainside, waiting for a death sentence.
When they finally pulled away, his eyes were shining, but he beamed.
"You're certain?" she asked.
He nodded. "Utterly."
She sucked in a deep breath and looked down at her stomach putting a hand to the flat of her belly—her truly flat belly, thanks to her training, for the first time in her life.
A moment later, Reth's large hand appeared over hers, his fingers sliding between hers so his fingertips were at her stomach.
"Elreth," he whispered.
"Elreth," she said.
Then he kissed her and for a very short moment, Elia let herself just be with her mate, her husband, and celebrate in her heart that they had done the impossible. Again.
They were both quiet for a long moment. Then she whispered. "I don't think I can do this without you."
He held her tighter. "Yes, you can," he rumbled. "You're so much stronger than you think. So much stronger than any of us thought, love."
She took another deep breath. "Then… I need you to tell me what to do if… if they turn on you, Reth."
"Elia, I really don't think we should focus on—"
She spoke through her teeth, her voice shaking. "If you expect me to be strong… if you expect me to go on after you're gone, then you will tell me what is going to happen. Because I can tell you, Reth, it's only going to be by some act of your Creator that I'm going to make it through losing you. Especially… especially if I have to… to see you in… a child." She clapped her hands to her mouth and closed her eyes her heart split in two complete halves by the simultaneous joy and bone-deep grief those words gave her. "Please, Reth… I need to be prepared."
He sighed and pulled her back into a hug. "Okay. Okay. I'll… I'll tell you."
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