Joy of Life

Chapter 471: Loneliness In The Palace At Night

Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

The cold outside Guangxin Palace tried to thread its way inside, attempting to forcefully change the name of Guangxin Palace to a place where Chang E lived. That being the case, there were red candles to the side, fragrant warmth rising in the room, wine warming the bones, and the feeling of spring overflowing in the air. It was nothing but a vain attempt from the beginning.

Fan Xian looked at the Eldest Princess and Wan’er talking and a smile gradually grew on his face. He was no longer as cautious and awkward as when he first entered the Palace.

The Eldest Princess was just as beautiful and alluring as before. Even though Fan Xian clearly knew about the matter Hong Zhu talked about, other than shock, what he felt was a bad mood toward the Crown Prince—at least, right now looking at the most beautiful woman in the world, the young son-in-law couldn’t bring himself to feel much annoyance.

Of course, this kind of feeling was already a very strange thing. He gently put down his wine cup and smiled self-mockingly, thinking, The Eldest Princess was also a pitiful person.

Those who were pitiful must also have hateful parts.

The Eldest Princess was the empress dowager’s most favored and youngest daughter, and a very powerful support to the Emperor over these 10 years. Particularly for Fan Xian, under this beautiful exterior was hidden a personality like a venomous snake, a liquid that could kill without blood.

When he was 12, Fan Xian had attracted the Eldest Princess’ first attempt at assassination. After he entered the capital, the other party was even more involved in dark plots, blood, and fire without any way to extricate herself. However, in these few years, Fan Xian’s power had gradually expanded while the Eldest Princess’ power had weakened by the day. With this growth and weakening, the Eldest Princess had long admitted that her son-in-law was truly someone worth facing seriously, and...

Fan Xian’s two most direct opposing forces in Qing Kingdom were the Crown Prince and the Second Prince, but they were actually nothing more than pawns that the Eldest Princess had tossed out. Fan Xian knew clearly that, from his rebirth to now, his true enemy in this world was this beautiful woman in front of him.

The Eldest Princess was Fan Xian’s greatest opponent. Thus, in the past few years, all of the Overwatch Council’s intelligence were centered around Xinyang and Guangxin Palace. Fan Xian understood the Eldest Princess, perhaps even more than she understood herself.

This was a question of psychology. He was able to clearly sense the Eldest Princess’ complicated thoughts about the woman back then, even to the extent that...for that strange feeling. If it wasn’t so, it couldn’t explain the strange political situation after the collapse of the Qing Kingdom’s own Ye family.

Those who could be hated must have pitiful parts.

However, Fan Xian would not feel a thread of pity for the Eldest Princess. In this regard, he was colder and more emotionless than anyone in the world. Just like what he had said countless times in the past—only after being drunk does one know how strong the feeling was, only after death does one know how precious life was—he was going to live on. Whoever doesn’t want him to survive must die before him.

...

...

“How was Jiangnan?”

The Eldest Princess stretched gently and slowly put down her wine cup. It was winter, so although they were surrounded by coal burners in the palace, the temperature couldn’t really rise too high. The Eldest Princess was wearing winter palace robes that were very thick and warm, yet even this kind of clothing still could not cover up the curves of her body and constantly present charm.

Wan’er had already fallen asleep. Serving girls came forward carefully from the back of the palace to complete their orders. They then backed out of the palace and closed the palace door. Fan Xian furrowed his brows slightly but did not speak out to stop them. After all, the Eldest Princess was her mother, so he couldn’t really say much.

“Jiangnan is very good. The scenery is good, and the people are good,” Fan Xian smiled and replied. “If mother has time, mother should visit Hangzhou some time.”

Although it was extremely awkward to say “mother,” he had no other choice.

“I’ve been there a few years ago. Now, the scenery is the same, but the people are very different. What need is there to go again?”

The Eldest Princess left dinner. She spoke mockingly as she walked out of the palace. Her words were referring to the palace treasury that had belonged to her which had now been completely taken over by Fan Xian.

Fan Xian did not leave his seat. He paused slightly and said, respectfully, a moment later, “Living in this world, one needs to see the people as well as the scenery. The people were like flowers in water, each year it is different. The scenery in life does not change even after a thousand autumns. A person’s life is short, yet they are able to witness the changes in ancient scenery. This is what I think is the most important.”

The Eldest Princess paused and turned her head back to look at Fan Xian. She tilted her head slightly. A glimmer of a smile appeared on her face, “Do you want to persuade me of something?”

“I dare not do that,” Fan Xian forced a smile and replied.

The Eldest Princess smiled slightly and said, “There are very few things you don’t dare to do in this world. However, using words to weaken my resolution will be in vain and truly a very stupid thing to do.”

...

...

In front of the empress dowager, Li Yunrui was an obedient, and perhaps even a little stupid, daughter. In front of the Emperor, Li Yunrui was a long mature, and even a little strange, helper. In front of Prime Minister Lin, Li Yunrui was a timid, and even slightly artificial, beautiful woman. In front of the princes, Li Yunrui was a gentle, and even an alluring, woman. In front of her subordinates, Li Yunrui was an extremely charming mistress who could wipe out tens of thousands with a wave of her hand.

It was only right now, in Guangxin Palace, in front of her son-in-law,, Fan Xian that Li Yunrui was nothing. She was only her true and pure self, without using any expressions and charm to hide herself at all. She merely used her true appearance to face Fan Xian.

Perhaps both of them knew that only enemies knew each other the best, so there was no need for pointless subterfuge.

Thus, Fan Xian also didn’t smile warmly. He only directly said, “Time is a visitor across hundreds of generations, and all creatures are temporary. I dared not to persuade you in anything. However, I feel that life is bitter and short, but there is always a great amount of happiness to seek...”

Without waiting for him to finish, the Eldest Princess interrupted him and coldly said, “What is an immortal poet? Can it be better than a knife or two? Open your eyes and see clearly who is standing in front of you. Don’t always think that a few unbearably rotten poems and showing off a few self-satisfied lines that seem philosophical can resolve all problems.”

Although these words were common, the pride and disdain within appeared particularly sharp. At this moment, with no outsiders present, the Eldest Princess revealed her truest face.

“Don’t always think that women are creatures ruled by feelings above all,” The Eldest Princess said coldly. “In your own writings, you’ve also said that men are a puddle of mud. Since it is so, don’t pretend to be a jewel in front of me.”

Fan Xian was speechless and could only force a smile.

The Eldest Princess walked to the side of the palace and lifted the corner of a curtain. Standing on the stone steps, she looked into the darkness around the quiet Royal Palace.

Fan Xian couldn’t continue sitting and could only go stand outside as well. He wanted to hear what else his mother-in-law had to say.

“See clearly who is standing in front of you.”

The Eldest Princess did not turn around. The frail-looking figure in the cold wind made one feel a sense of fear, and it seemed to contain boundless crazy thoughts.

“I am not like Haitang that stupid girl,” she said. “I had thought that the North finally produced a decent girl, but unexpectedly, in the end, she is still a common creature.”

Fan Xian was speechless and could only force a smile, thinking, Who could compare to you? In this misogynistic world, it seemed that only the Eldest Princess dared to walk where others didn’t and dared to fight with men for superiority.

Fan Xian had a faint understanding. The Eldest Princess did not think of those things as being important, Hmm...yes, it was like this. Even the heavens were going to cry.

He rubbed his head somewhat awkwardly as he faced he. He actually had the feeling of pulling back and didn’t know how to react.

“You should know why mother summoned you into the Palace and granted you a feast tonight,” the Eldest Princess calmly said. “You and I both know clearly, and there is no need for further discussion, that there is perhaps just a little less concealing. I don’t wish to disappoint mother too much.”

Fan Xian bowed low and said, sincerely, “I will follow orders carefully.”

“Carefully?” The corner of the Eldest Princess’ lips twitched up slowly. The red figure faintly seen in the night was particularly alluring. “I have to admit, your power exceeded my initial estimate, and you...are her son, which surprised me even more. No wonder in these two years I couldn’t kill you and couldn’t move you. The Emperor favors you, and the old men love you. However, it is a great pity...you are still just a stupid man.”

Fan Xian smiled and said, “This is because of the secretion of hormones.”

“Horror? [JW1] ” The Eldest Princess was slightly startled. For the first time, a glimmer of unconvinced doubt appeared in her charming eyes, but she immediately shook off the confusion purposely created and coldly said, “You are just like your mother, always having interesting new words.”

Fan Xian’s heart jumped and evenly asked, “You met my mother?”

The Eldest Princess was silent for a while and said, “Nonsense! When she entered the capital back then, she lived in King Cheng’s manor. How could I have not met her? It was impossible to not see her.”

Having said this, the Eldest Princess gently closed her eyes and slowly said, “I liked her greatly. You could even say I was envious of her. Yet, in the end...I couldn’t help but look down on her.”

Fan Xian furrowed his brows and calmly smiled, “I don’t think you have this right.”

It was very bold of him to say this, but the Eldest Princess did not get angry at all. She lightly said, “It is so in many people’s eyes. Even though I have been helping my brother since my youth and have done so much for Qing Kingdom, as long as I am compared to your mother, no one thinks I am the best one.”

“But...” the Eldest Princess coldly said, “I still look down on her.”

Without waiting for Fan Xian to speak, she suddenly smiled a bit manically. “Because, in the end...she died.”

Fan Xian’s heart jumped, wondering whether or not he would be able to confirm the final truth in history. But, the Eldest Princess’ following words made him slightly disappointed.

“But I didn’t die,” the Eldest Princess said very coldly. “Who can predict whether or not I will do better than her in the future?”

She turned back and stared at Fan Xian with her soft like moonlight fog eyes. In a quiet voice, she said, “After all, she did not unite the world. Do you think I can do it?”

Stared down by her gaze, Fan Xian forced himself to maintain his calm and slowly said after a long silence, “When evaluating a person, territory and history books may not be used as a standard.”

He suddenly thought of the letter he saw that rainy night and said, in a slight daze, “Just like my mother, although she didn’t help the Qing Kingdom unite the world, who knows whether it’s because she couldn’t do it or she didn’t disdain to do it?”

The Eldest Princess was slightly startled. A glimmer of complacency finally appeared in her defenses. With a sliver of indignation, she said, “Are things that cannot be done to be considered in disdain? Like you said earlier, life is only a few dozen years. If one wants to leave a long-lasting mark in people’s hearts, if one doesn’t depend on history books, what can one depend on?”

“My mother...didn’t leave a single word in the history books.” Fan Xian looked deeply at the Eldest Princess. “I trust that you understand why. But, her existence in this world cannot be denied because of this. Regardless of whether it is the products of the palace treasury or the Overwatch Council, they are both saying something to the world...there will always eventually be a day when the history books will be forgotten and the people and yellowing paper will be swept into the trash. True changes to this world will remain forever.”

After hearing these words, the Eldest Princess was silent for a long time. She then quietly said, “That’s also true, I have not produced any true changes in this world.” She paused and self-mockingly said, “Other than making the boundaries between the countries in the world change constantly and endlessly expanding the Qing Kingdom’s land.”

“Even if you win 10,000 li of territory, when you die, you will still only need one dirt mound,” Fan Xian said seriously. Although the Eldest Princess had already mercilessly mocked him countless times earlier, he still used these seemingly clichéd lines.

The Eldest Princess was no longer looking at him. Instead, she was looking at the peaceful scenery in the Royal Palace. “Your thinking is very different from most of the men in this world. There are some men that because of their timidity and uselessness would glorify the acceptance of an unpleasant fact, so what if they embrace their fate? People like you have already achieved a significant status and possibility, yet you still do not wish to accomplish goals to leave your name in history. It is truly rare to see...and moreover, it is lacking in daring.”

Fan Xian smiled and replied, “Perhaps I know that I do not have this kind of ability. It is rare to see with such great skill and strategy like the Emperor.”

Having said this, he glanced carefully at the Eldest Princess.

The Eldest Princess didn’t look at him. She was looking around at the Royal Palace as if someone Fan Xian brought up had made her sink into a strange mood.

“I am someone who has a great desire for power.” She finally opened her mouth to speak after being silent for a long while. “But, this doesn’t mean that I like things such as power. I just need power to accomplish some desires. It is impossible for you people to understand these desires.”

Fan Xian lowered his head slightly.

The Eldest Princess suddenly raised her hand and huffed out a few breaths of warm air. Her action was as cute as a young girl’s. She smiled slightly and said, “Women can also accomplish things. This is something I have always wanted to prove. Why is it, in this world, it is always the men who use the women? Why can’t women use men?”

The most beautiful woman in Qing Kingdom finally said to Fan Xian, “This is something I learned from your mother. And, I have said, I looked down on your mother. It is because, in the end, she...still couldn’t avoid the ending of normal women who are used by men.”

“You can go. I’m tired.”

“There shouldn’t be a second time for such a conversation.”

Fan Xian lowered his head in a bow. He glanced at the Eldest Princess’ profile and figure out of the corner of his eyes and thought about what she had said. He smiled slightly, thinking to himself, This was perhaps the normal state in the ancient battle and difficult to change battle between men and women. Even you are you not reacting after being unwillingly used by men?

The Eldest Princess calmly looked at the retreating figure and hoped that her words could plant a poisonous flower in his heart.

Immediately after, she raised her head and looked at the night sky above the Royal Palace. Her fingers rubbed together slightly as if remembering some song. She furrowed her head and wondered, Which Palace would her brother be spending the night tonight?

...

...

Without pity, stirring up any emotions, or reflection, Fan Xian directly left Guangxin Palace. Under the light of the eunuch’s lantern, he headed toward the front of the Royal Palace.

His back was slightly wet but not because he was scared. Rather, it was because of some very complicated emotions. He couldn’t help remembering his first scene of his first trip into Guangxin Palace when he had come to give the Eldest Princess a massage. At that time, his fingers stopped at the temples of her beautiful hair, worried at all times that he would be assassinated in the Palace.

Thinking of this now, the Fan Xian back then was very childish in politics.

Fan Xian now knew that politics was a dark, dirty, and bloody thing, and it was the most forbidden taboo in the world to touch. However, ever since his birth, he had been tightly bound to this thing. Therefore, he had to do it more completely than anyone else and hide better than anyone else.

The Eldest Princess had been very calm. But, Fan Xian knew that just like the warmer the slight smile on his face, the thicker the murderous intent in his heart. The calmer the Eldest Princess was, the crazier she was.

All along the way as he walked to the front of the Royal Palace, he looked at the slightly swaying lantern in front of him in the dusk. Fan Xian was calm to the point of being cold as he analyzed everything he had seen and heard tonight. As for the poisonous seed the Eldest Princess wanted to plant, Fan Xian had actually planted it himself long ago. However, he had simply hidden it very well the entire time.

How will the Eldest Princess go crazy? Will it be in the way that his father-in-law in Wuzhou had guessed? Fan Xian still did not understand. Where was he to find this kind of opportunity? He suddenly remembered that through the entire night, the Eldest Princess had not brought up Lin Ruofu, far away in Wuzhou, at all.

Given Fan Xian’s understanding of that part of the past, he didn’t think the Eldest Princess felt nothing toward Prime Minister Lin. Tonight was indeed very strange. It looked like this woman had truly changed somewhat recently.

“Substitute item?”

Fan Xian furrowed his brows and muttered quietly to himself. He and the Second Prince did look a bit alike. what was strange was that neither of them looked like the Emperor. On the contrary, it was the somewhat weak Crown Prince that looked very similar to the Emperor.

“Sir, what item?” The eunuch leading him on the path asked him in a fawning way.

Fan Xian smiled and said, “Trash item.”

There were special places for resting in the Royal Palace, and they were some distance from the inner palace.

A dozen years ago, when the Emperor was busy with state affairs, he would often work through the night. At the time, the Prime Minister and officials also had to wait in the Palace, often with no time to return to their manors. So, the Emperor had given a special edict to make room in an area at the front of the Palace for these officials to rest in.

However, now that Qing Kingdom was in a time of peace and, for now, there were no troubles on the borders, it was no longer as busy as it once was. So, this area had been quiet for a long time. Until Fan Xian moved in.

In very little time, Fan Xian had already left the manor and, using the shadows from the high palace walls, was moving as silently as a ghost. He grabbed a handful of snow below the palace wall and carefully wiped away the faint scent of the sleeping powder on his hand. Increasing his speed, he made his way toward the nine pines.

It was indeed a dangerous thing to move along through the palace at night, but Fan Xian knew if he truly followed common sense, he would move when it was deep in the night and people were quiet. In reality, that was when the security in the Palace was the tightest.

Although it was night time, many people in the Palace had not yet gone to sleep. Thus, it was relatively safe for unexpected night movements.

His target was one corner of the Royal Palace, beside the laundry workshop near the nine pines. This area was still within the territory of the royal palace. It was where the laundry workshop was when the Royal Palace was first built. However, as the number of eunuchs in the Palace increased, a number of living quarters were built along the laundry workshop and it gradually became the living quarters of the eunuchs.

There was also a guarded entrance leading to the outside of the Palace by the laundry workshop. Although it was still guarded by imperial guards, it was, after all, where the eunuchs and serving girls lived, so the atmosphere was very chaotic. It was much more loosely guarded than other places. Officials who braved the danger to send gifts to concubines in the Palace also often passed by this place.

Fan Xian and his connection to Shufang Palace went almost completely by this channel.

But, he didn’t want to sneak out of the Royal Palace. Rather, he was going to meet someone: Hong Zhu.

...

...

The buildings around the laundry workshop were very messy and without order. Between the high palace walls and the red walls within, there were countless little rooms densely packed into a large area. By the light shining down from the night sky, it appeared inky black and was very much like the poor areas of Jingdou. Compared to the sumptuous and imposing palaces the nobility lived in, it appeared very wretched, but it didn’t have the terrible sense of loneliness.

[JW1] The Eldest Princess is repeating part of the sound of “hormone” as it doesn’t exist in her time.

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