Chapter 843 Brain Wiring
Song Xin'ai looked solemn as she went on, "I'm in no position to say this but thank you. Thank you very much for doing such a wonderful job. Raelle grew up to be an amazing woman."Mu Chenyan was stunned when she heard that and soon a smile spread on her lips, "How can I take the credit for that? She was born an amazing woman. I have done nothing."
"Only you'd say you didn't do anything," said Song Xin'ai. "I can see a shadow of you on her. You might have not taught her the textbook knowledge. But you did groom her. You have a huge credit for what she is today. No one can deny that truth."
Mu Chenyan pursed her lips but one could see a sheen of water on her eyes at the moment. "Well, if you say it, then I definitely did a good job. But all I did is staying by her side. She didn't need me in her life mostly."
"And you think staying beside her is a small matter?" asked Song Xin'ai. "When did you become so humble? You didn't just stay with her. You became her pillar of support."
"Song Jie, did you meet Raelle?" asked Mu Chenyan.
"I just went to see her before coming for lunch," answered Song Xin'ai.
"How was it?" asked Mu Chenyan. "How was meeting her? How was the second conversation with her? Did it feel like looking into a mirror?"
Song Xin'ai's lip curled up slightly as she nodded, "It did feel like looking into the mirror. But at the same time, she is so much more. She... She is a mentally strong person and she is mature, sensible, fearless."
"And also a little emotionless," added Mu Chenyan.
Song Xin'ai gave her a look.
"Don't look at me like that, that's what people have to say about her," said Mu Chenyan. "You're right. She is indeed mature, sensible, fearless, and all that but the problem is, she didn't learn it. It felt like she was born with all that. Even when she was a kid, she was sensible to the point that it broke my heart. I wanted to take her out to have fun but she wanted to stay at the library to explore the world of books. Honestly speaking, I couldn't relate with her."
"How was it? Raising her?" asked Song Xin'ai.
"A little tiring," answered Mu Chenyan. "Most of the time, I had to keep running to make sure I could keep up with the pace with which she was growing up. At times, I failed but it didn't matter because she always picked me up when I failed rather than finding me a failure. And when she did that, for the first time in my life, I fell in love with losing. I realized that failure wasn't all that bad. It had its own merit."
She was still smiling foolishly to herself as she went on, "My godmother spent years giving me lectures, beating me, punishing me, scolding me, and even grounding me just so she could teach me to be a better person. The funniest thing is my Elle taught me all those things without even trying. She taught me how to be patient, how to accept failure, how to be a better cook, how to control my anger and many other things that I found a hassle. You're right earlier. I did grow up and I did let go of my casual personality. I don't get into useless arguments or fights anymore either. Elle says, what's the point of fighting? I'll hurt myself as well."
"Although you've always been a remarkable person, you seem to be dazzling even more now," said Song Xin'ai. "You should be proud of yourself, Chenyan."
"I am proud," said Mu Chenyan. "Raelle Xiang is Mu Chenyan's pride. It's something no one can change. She'll always be my pride." She took a pause and added, "Jie, she didn't hurt you or anything, did she?"
Song Xin'ai shook her head, "Her words aren't hurtful. In our first meeting, we met as estranged mother and daughter. This time, I felt like I was talking to a very familiar stranger. Someone who could understand me better than the world. It's actually a wonderful experience to talk to her."
Mu Chenyan sighed, "If she grew up beside you, you both would be besties. Trust me, she talks like you. Straight to the point. And she also offends people as you did."
"So what? If people are offended by her truths, they need to reflect on themselves rather than pointing at her." She looked a little dazed as she said, "And you're wrong. If she grew up beside me, she wouldn't be what she is today. I'm the worst mother and she doesn't deserve that."
Mu Chenyan looked at her and said, "Trust me, Song Jie, I've seen worse than you. You aren't the worst mother out there."
"When did you become so nice?" asked Song Xin'ai jokingly. "As if I can't tell what I am."
Mu Chenyan shrugged, "I just realized, you still seem to look down on yourself."
"Do I?" wondered Song Xin'ai out loud. "Maybe I do." She shook her head and continued, "Anyway, after talking to you, I finally understand better why Raelle said her life doesn't just belong to herself. It belongs to you too."
Mu Chenyan was taken aback, "What? She said that?"
"Why are you surprised?"
Mu Chenyan told her honestly, "She is a genius like you. Geniuses have their brains wired differently. For the longest time in her childhood, I was scared that she would lose interest in life and would think about dying. I even found some rare books for her just to make sure she keeps her interest in living alive. But I always felt like her biggest reason to live were I and Elder Xiang."
Song Xin'ai chuckled softly, "Sorry for laughing but I never thought I'd see you acting like a worried old mother. But honestly, you're thinking too much."
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