My Atypical Wolf (BL)

Chapter 167: What’s bothering you

Caleb’s eyes widened the moment he heard Ashton say those two words. “No matter what, I can never get used to you being so upfront”. Caleb chuckled.

Ashton smirked,”I know”. Caleb rolled his eyes and smiled at Ashton. “I think it’s getting late, we should check out or else I would have to pay for another day” said Caleb.

“Right”, Ashton got up and started to dress up while Caleb looked away slightly.

Checking out of the hotel all of them headed off downstairs. On their way back to the dorm Caleb noticed Ashton was lost in his own thoughts. He was awfully quiet, even for q quiet person like Ashton. Caleb didn’t want to bother him, but Caleb was starting to feel concerned. “You okay?” He asked.

Ashton who was lost in his own trance failed to realize that he was called let alone answer his mate. “Ash?” He Called once more, this time a little bit louder while shaking him gently.

“Uh, what”? Ashton blinked.

“What is going on with you?” Caleb asked. “Is everything okay”?

.....

“Yeah, everything is fine”, Ashton assured.

“Then what are you thinking about? Your rut? Caleb asked. “Are you upset that I found you”? He whispered.

“Nooo”! Ashton denied immediately. “I am glad you did. I need to find a way to restrain myself before I do something bad.” He mumbled.

“Why would you”? Caleb asked. Ashton turned to him and frowned prompting Caleb to explain further. “This time nothing bad happened. In fact your wolf was very well behaved. Do you really have to... restrain yourself”? Caleb asked softly.

“You don’t get it. This one time guarantees nothing. Don’t push it, or you may end up regretting it”. Ashton dismissed.

Caleb however didn’t want to let go so easily, “You don’t know that! Did you ever wonder that your wolf acts out because you restrain him. That it simply wants to be... free”? Caleb asked.

Ashton blinked but went quiet. Caleb had to wait for a whole minute before Caleb replied, “but what happens if I don’t? If my wolf goes rampage despite me letting it be free, then what? This wolf is a part of me, and whatever it does is my responsibility. I cannot take it lightly” Ashton pressed.

“You are right.” Caleb sighed, earning a satisfying glance from Ashton. “This wolf is a part of you. Which means no matter how different you think it is, it’s still you. What I noticed, it didn’t seem that different from you”.

“What do you mean”? Ashton frowned while getting a bit offended.

“I noticed things. You know, they way it behaves”. Caleb sighed.

“And? Are you telling me I am that aggressive”? Ashton asked, getting angrier by the minute.

“No, but I have noticed that urge in you. You are worried that the wolf would hurt me, but the way it stayed with me proved that it just wants me to be by its side”. Caleb stopped in his tracks and let out a deep breath.

“Your point being”? Ashton asked.

“I think whatever the wolf does is embodiment of your deepest desire. Since it’s a wolf, it doesn’t restrain yourself the way you do yourself. I think you both have similar feelings regarding everything, but the difference lies on how you handle it”.

“That’s what I am more afraid of” Ashton whispered leading to furrowing of Caleb’s eyebrows. “I am aware of what goes inside of me. The urge to go rampage is there. And I am worried it will manifest if my wolf gains too much control over me”

“You are too hard on yourself, Ash. I get it, you’re scared. I would be too if I were you. But despite your conflicting urges, deep within, you are a good person.” Caleb declared. “Have some faith in yourself, and your wolf. And if you find it difficult, I am here to help you. I will make sure your wolf doesn’t do anything you would regret.”

“What if you get hurt?” Ashton asked.

“I did get hurt”, Caleb reminded his mate. “And I saw the regret in the wolf’s eyes which made me sure enough to declare that your wolf would never hurt me on purpose. Or accidentally, cause I remember it being careful around me.” Caleb mumbled softly.

Ashton’s expression changed and he looked away. “Trust me on this”. Caleb insisted.

“I do.” Ashton shrugged. “If you think this is the right thing to do, then I’ll give it a go”. He whispered.

A giant smile crept up on Caleb’s face before he kissed his mate excitedly. Ashton went still for a moment but responded enthusiastically to his mate’s advances. When Caleb pulled away he hugged him tightly.

When he pulled away he noticed that despite their conversation Ashton still had a tinge of doubt. “What is it now”? He asked again.

“It’s just... my memory. I don’t remember anything from the rut, in fact memories before the rut hit me completely are gone. I just... feel like I am losing control”. Ashton whispered.

“But you always get it back.” Caleb reminded. “Isn’t that a good thing? Not remembering all the pain you went through. I would love to forget all the pain I have to go through during the heat”. Caleb snickered.

“No, I mean... all the stuff about Valestine. What if one day I don’t remember anything. What if I get stuck in my wolf form or worse my wolf takes complete control over me”?

“So that’s what you’re worried about” Caleb whispered. Ashton remained quiet but his silence was the confirmation he needed. “Look, it’s clearly stated that it is a myth, which means we don’t know how much of it is true”.

“But it is true! That Vampire recognized me”! Ashton insisted.

“Do you honestly trust that Vampire?” Caleb asked, glaring at him.

“I cannot trust him, I cannot trust your records, so whom am I supposed to trust”! Ashton screamed. Caleb blinked. He realized his mate’s frustration but the fact that he was of no help to his mate frustrated Caleb too.

“I’m sorry” Caleb mumbled. “I understand that you are confused.”

“It’s more than that. Ever since I was young I moved around a lot. After what happened to them I was sure we were running away from something or someone. I didn’t know what it was, but... I do want to know” he sighed.

“I have no idea which pack they belonged to, or the fact that wolves move in packs until I was adopted. It’s frustrating not knowing where you come from. I... I can’t help but wonder what if their death is linked to my origin? That there is a good reason they were killed?”

Caleb stared at him with a soft expression as he took everything in. He had no idea that Ashton felt this way. That Ashton had been wondering about the past which he deliberately tried to forget. “The nightmares which stopped once I moved to Crescent Point are starting to come back to me” Ashton admitted. “I don’t know what to make of it”.

“I had no idea you felt this way.” Caleb admitted. “But, I get why you are so worried about Valestine now. If I were you, so would I.”

“Yeah well...” Ashton sighed. “It’s not like it’s doing us any good”.

“No, we need to do some digging”. Caleb declared.

“How? You said yourself, we have no reliable leads.” Ashton asked.

“Well, we at least have some leads, even if they are unreliable”. Caleb insisted. “I already checked whatever I could with Christian. As for Dad, I doubt he will be so open about such things if I asked. In case you haven’t noticed, he isn’t the most open guy around”. Caleb let out an exasperated sigh.

“Really? Never noticed that about him” Ashton commented with heavy sarcasm earning an eye roll from Caleb.

“Anyways, I was hoping maybe we can follow the other lead”? Caleb sighed.

“Other lead? With that Vamp”? Ashton frowned.

“Why not? He was the one to recognize you. If he was being honest that means he knows about Valestine. Enough to differentiate you from the rest of the werewolves in your human form, just by your scent”.

“And he will just... tell us? If we ask”? Ashton asked, pointing out the irony in his plan.

“Well, we won’t know unless we try? This is important to you and to me. Let’s not leave any stones unturned”. Caleb declared with determination in his voice. “I want to know exactly what gave away the fact that you are a Valestine.”

“Okay... but I have no idea who he is, or where he is. How the hell would we find him”? Ashton asked.

“We don’t know where he is... but we know where to find a Vamp who knows about him. Remember he apologized to Karolyn for Lily, his Vampire friend? Let’s go have a chat with her”. Caleb smirked while Ashton eyed him suspiciously.

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