One Piece: Don't Worry, I'm a Doctor

Chapter 249: Chapter 249: At Least Spend Some Money! It’s Not That Much!

Shiki’s slightly panicked expression was, frankly, pretty understandable.

After all, no one could stay calm when a doctor walked toward them holding nothing but construction tools.

Vir’s assortment of wall-puttying equipment made Shiki’s face turn green.

These came out of a medical kit.

No need to describe what they looked like, right?

Rust-covered—that much was a given.

The putty bucket hadn’t even been cleaned out!

A faint stench wafted from inside.

And—even worse—something was moving in there!

The rusted putty knife had some kind of sticky substance clinging to it.

It looked like old phlegm.

Or maybe vomit.

Shiki’s rudder nearly flew off his head in terror!

His scalp was practically lifting off!

Like—

’Bro…’

’Stabbing me earlier was one thing—you could at least call that a life-saving knife.’

’But this?’

’What the hell are you planning to do with these battle-worn construction tools?!’

’You’re not seriously gonna tell me these are medical equipment too, are you?!’

’This is crossing a line, don’t you think?’

’If you put that shit on me, I’d rather die!’

’That bucket has things wiggling in it!’

’What kind of bucket is this?!’

’Did you rinse it out in your outhouse or something?’

’And bring some local souvenirs along with it?’

’Thanks a ton, pal!’

’You’re a real saint, aren’t you?’

’I was already confused after suddenly losing over ten pounds!’

’And now you pull this out?!’

’You’re not seriously telling me you’re gonna use this stuff to renovate—no, treat me, are you?!’

The others were just as baffled by Vir’s actions.

The four doctors present couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

Even Chopper had no idea what his Big Bro was planning.

As for Marco, Jina, and Elder Nyon?

No way that looked like medical equipment.

What the hell are you treating the patient as?

A wall?

Or some outhouse brickwork?

That stench was pungent.

If that got on him, he’d be delightfully fragrant~

Marco, still reeling from Shiki’s earlier scream, could barely contain himself.

’Vir… this guy… is he a full-time handyman or what?’

’What is he planning here?’

’Is he even a real doctor!?’

’Those tools looked like they’d been through the Grand Line and back—twice.’

’How could Golden Lion possibly endure this?!’

’Ruined! Completely ruined!’

’Anyone with half a brain would use proper tools!’

’Six tools, and you’re flaunting them in front of everyone—battle-damaged ones at that!’

’Ugh! Disgusting!’

’You could at least spend a little on decent gear!’

’Just a bit!’

’Even if you had to buy them!’

’It wouldn’t cost much!’

’Or at least wipe them down in private or something!’

’This is just inhumane!’

’Worse than an animal!’

’And you expect Golden Lion to thank you for this?!’

’One word: Revolting!’

’No way this counts as treatment!’

’Disgusting!’

’Absolutely vile!’

’I’d love to see how you make him obediently accept this ridiculous treatment!’

’You’re completely insane!’

Meanwhile, Whitebeard, seeing Vir pull out his signature construction tools, finally relaxed.

’Good.’

’Now I’m relieved.’

’At first glance, I thought it was just physical torture.’

’But now?’

’The essence is there.’

’That’s the real deal.’

’What’s treatment without a little aroma?’

’Rayleigh over there would raise both hands, both feet—hell, even his perky ass—in approval!’

’And it makes sense now—how could a former veterinarian handle a drill so smoothly? Even his welding was flawless, like a certified expert.’

’Now I get it.’

’This kid is actually done it all.’

’A doctor who can’t weld or renovate isn’t a good doctor.’

’Perfect.’

’Full marks for you, kid.’

’You’ve outdone yourself.’

At that moment, Vir got to work—putty bucket in one hand, putty knife in the other.

He crouched down, set the bucket aside, and with a practiced flick, scooped up a lump of raw “putty” from the floor onto his knife.

Then, he casually tossed it into the bucket.

Again and again.

There were over ten pounds of material here.

Everyone watched Vir’s fluid, seamless movements—smooth as chocolate commercial.

Natural. Effortless.

He was more of a professional than actual professionals!

What the hell?!

This guy was the real deal!

Marco stood frozen.

’What… is this?’

’Buddy.’

’That technique… you’d need years of practice to pull that off, right?’

’If I recall correctly, you’re only around twenty?’

’How the hell did you spend your life?!’

’The first nineteen years—just doing this?!’

’Renovating, welding, playing vet, playing doctor!’

’Did you turn to piracy because business was slow this year?!’

’Because money was tight?!’

’And in just a few months, you trained your combat skills to this insane level through sheer monstrous talent?!’

’Are you even human?’

’But…’

’Damn it.’

’You’re a freaking genius!’

’Sometimes, I just wanna cry.’

’Compared to you?’

’I feel like I’ve wasted the last decade!’

After seeing Vir’s smooth moves, Marco suddenly felt inferior.

“Damn! Godfather is a beast! He’s got some serious skills! He’s actually a pro at renovating! Those hands move smoother than Marco’s!”

Just from that display, Jozu couldn’t help but shout in amazement.

But his words made Marco twitch.

…Was that an insult?

Next time they met, he’d shove that big mouth full of phoenix flames!

Marco rubbed his temples, already plotting.

But the one suffering the most was undoubtedly Shiki.

That putty was his flesh!

The Vibro-Blade kept the shattered fat cells alive—meaning they still had sensation.

If someone poked them, it hurt.

And not just any pain—this was a whole new experience for him.

Honestly, today had been enlightening.

So many new sensations.

Like absurdity knocking on absurdity’s door!

Scoop. Toss into the bucket.

Each motion made him feel like ants were crawling under his skin.

The sensation was…

Painful. Sore. Numb. And weirdly… satisfying?

It was complicated.

And the pain struck random body parts.

Over and over—true torment.

But that wasn’t even the worst part!

The worst part was, Shiki thought once the flesh was off his body, it wasn’t his anymore.

But no!

Vir was using that tetanus-inducing putty knife to toss his own flesh into that protein-rich bucket!

At first, he hadn’t thought much of it.

But now?

It was maddening!

If he could, he’d rather not be treated.

Seriously.

These legs aren’t worth it!!

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