Second Try Idol

[Let’s run together. Far enough to have no regrets.]

The moment the slogan caught my eye, I was engulfed in an ineffable emotion, my mind becoming a stark and empty space. The message clearly suggested running together, not just by ourselves. The Rings sang for us with unmatched warmth gazes, as if to say, “You are not alone anymore. You are enveloped in love. You are someone who deserves so much love.”

The sensation was peculiar, almost surreal. The idea that I, who once shied away from the gazes of others, was now basking in an abundance of love was utterly unbelievable. I didn’t know how to describe such intricate and dreamlike emotion.

My heart was brimming with joy at this moment. The reactions and words of my fellow members seemed distant, as if muffled by the overwhelming emotions.

“Sob… sob…” My tears streamed down relentlessly. No matter how much I attempted to stem their flow, it kept coming out, accompanied by the embarrassing sound of my cries.

I never expected that being loved and realizing that I was not alone could bring such profound happiness.

“Hey, watch out!" said Joo-Han.

As I nearly toppled from my chair amidst the tears, Joo-Han quickly steadied me, his face etched with concern. Then, he wrapped around my shoulder, his tears welling up as well. “Feels good, doesn't it? I'm happy too, Hyun-Woo. It's been a rewarding ten years, right?"

“...Yeah."

I was finally able to see my fellow members, and their faces were awash with emotion. Joo-Han and Goh Yoo-Joon were looking at the Rings with serene and joyful expressions, while Yoon-Chan and Jin-Sung were locked in an embrace as their tears flowed more freely than mine.

The scene before me was breathtakingly beautiful as if it was captured through the soft lens of a heavily filtered camera. This would surely be a moment etched in memory, so I allowed my tears to flow unchecked and lowered my head in gratitude.

“Thank you," I said with appreciation from the bottom of my heart.

The event dedicated to Chronos by the Rings came to a close amidst a flood of emotions. As the afterglow of the event lingered, Jeong Gyu-Chan took the stage and his voice echoed gently across the room.

“The Rings have put together this event for Chronos. And now, Chronos… Hahaha. I see some of you are still caught in the throes of emotion. Let's hear your thoughts, starting with our leader Joo-Han."

The soft strumming of an acoustic version of “History" filled the background.

“Ah, yes." Joo-Han's voice trembled a bit, and it broke the silence. “It's been a long journey. I was a trainee for eight years, but all those years of hard work weren't for naught. They were trials meant to lead me to you all. To every one of the Rings who helped me realize this, I owe you my deepest thanks. This is such a happy and precious moment in my entire life.”

“Thank you, Joo-Han. And now, our sub-leader Hyun-Woo."

I gripped the microphone with determination, but…

“Yes, uh... um..." I suddenly started to bawl once more as my emotions betrayed my composure.

“Suh Hyun-Woo, hold back your tears!"

“Don't cry!!!"

“My heart will break!!!”

“If you are telling me not to cry… I am going to cry… even more…”

Jeong Gyu-Chan noticed that it was impossible for me to continue, so he took back the microphone from my hand. “Alright, it seems Hyun-Woo is deeply moved. Perhaps we should move on to Yoo-Joon while Hyun-Woo gathers himself."

“Yes! How do I even begin to express my gratitude for this event? Since before our debut, I've been overwhelmed by the love we received, and today has made that all the more real. Can I ever reciprocate this love? I am so very thankful and filled with love for you all."

“Now, we'd love to hear from Jin-Sung... and Yoon-Chan… but it seems that they are too overwhelmed to speak. So, let's return to Hyun-Woo. Are you a bit calmer now?"

I nodded and took the microphone. “Sigh, ha... Well, to be honest… I doubted whether I'd ever stand on a stage again until not long ago."

My tears threatened to make a comeback. As my confession stirred a murmur among the Rings, I hastily continued, “Well, I was at the brink of not debuting after being a trainee for a decade."

Ever since that accident right before the debut, I thought I would never be able to be in the spotlight. That was why I became a trainer as I resigned myself to the possibility that I could only make others shine.

“I lacked confidence because I was afraid of people's stares and wondered what I would do if I had to live like this forever. What if my life couldn't ascend from here and this was the end? I lived every day with such anxiety."

If this was a dream, I didn't need to wake up. “I'm so fortunate to be able to debut as Chronos and to meet all of you. I cannot be happier than this. Thank you Rings and you guys for making me feel loved. I'm really grateful."

After I finished speaking, Yoon-Chan struggled to express his thoughts as he was still crying. He stuck to the slogan ‘Let’s run together. Far enough to have no regrets,’ while Jin-Sung eventually gave up on speaking because he was overwhelmed by emotions.

Meanwhile, the fan song “Six Stars," composed by Joo-Han, and the final song of the fan meeting, “Joy,” resonated through the venue. Just like that, we went to the audience stands and walked around without any choreography, simply singing and giving high-fives to the Rings.

During the song, pink petals fell from the ceiling. I and my fellow members all seemed happy, and the Rings looked at me with eyes full of love. This was indeed a reality. It was happening before my eyes.

I was... a person who was dearly loved.

Amidst overflowing happiness, our first fan meeting came to an end.

[First Requirement: Acknowledge Being Loved] completed.

***

“Does this life really feel like yours? A question tinged with mockery reached my ears. After that, the past I wanted to forget flashed by like a swiftly passing lantern light.

“I'm sorry, Hyun-Woo," In-Hyun apologized to me. After that, the doctor spoke calmly, saying that restoration of my face was absolutely impossible. There were also scenes of my parents collapsing. People flinched every time they saw me, and then...

[Let's have a drink, or can you answer the phone at least?]

The text messages from my fellow members piled up like dust. As more scenes flashed by, a fear of being chased by something crept up on me.

When I closed and opened my eyes again, the view before me was that of a plane about to crash. As I screamed out in pain, that sarcastic voice asked again, "Does this life really feel like yours?"

***

“Aaagh!" I screamed and opened my eyes to see the peaceful ceiling of our dorm.

“Haa… haa…"Yet, another nightmare again… It hadn't even been a week since the fan meeting ended, and how many nightmares have I had?

“Are you awake? Drink some water, man. You were shaking more today. Are you really okay?" Goh Yoo-Joon asked and handed me water as usual.

“...I don't know."

“You are having nightmares every other day. Do you really have nothing going on?"

I shook my head and gripped my still trembling hand. Then, Joo-Han opened the door and looked at Goh Yoo-Joon with sharp eyes. He said, “Goh Yoo-Joon, come out."

“Alright, alright. Anyway, have a good day today," replied Goh Yoo-Joon. He then followed Joo-Han out and closed the door.

I lay back down on the bed, still trying to catch my breath. Today was the day I was supposed to consult about my severe fear of flying as Su-Hwan suggested. I had only told the members that I was going to get a passport, but with the nightmares every other day, they must have noticed something was off.

Knock, knock.

“Hyun-Woo, we are about to leave. Just wash your face and come out."

“Okay." I followed his instructions by quickly washing up and changing clothes before leaving the dorm.

Then, I suddenly felt anxious about this—an idol going to see a psychiatrist. However, seeing how composed Su-Hwan was, I decided to trust and follow him.

“What exactly are you afraid of, Hyun-Woo? Are you afraid of flying, or is it severe acrophobia?"

“It's both, but just hearing about planes makes me suffocate..."

“It's a good thing you mentioned it. If you had boarded without knowing, it could have been dangerous," said Su-Hwan while checking my condition through the rearview mirror. He continued, “You mentioned you've been having frequent nightmares. Is that because of the plane too?"

“Well, I'm not sure, but they definitely started after I heard about planes."

“I see. Anyway, feel free to talk about anything with the doctor today. I heard they are quite competent."

I nodded to Su-Hwan's words and looked out the window. To be honest, I wasn't sure if anything would improve by talking about it, but it felt awkward and uncomfortable to even have this conversation.

Just as I was distracting myself with thoughts of nearby hospitals, Su-Hwan stopped the car and said, "We are here. Let’s head out."

“Hmm?" We hadn't been in the car for even three minutes, so I looked at Su-Hwan in confusion, but he just opened the door with his usual stoic face.

“You will be consulting here today."

“But this is..." It was our agency building, just a five-minute walk from the dorm.

Then Su-Hwan looked puzzled and said, “What? Did you think I was going to take you to a hospital? Do you want to be in the headline of a newspaper?"

“Eh? How can we... here..."

‘I am having a consultation here?’

Seeing my bewildered face, Su-Hwan led me into the building and explained, “Luckily, one of CEO Shim's acquaintances is well-known in that field. They've been invited to the company, so you will receive your consultation and prescription here."

It seemed the manager had prepared quite a bit for my mental consultation.

hedgethehog's Thoughts

Begin Again is a South Korean reality show where well-known Korean musicians and singers go abroad to perform live street performances. It's a refreshing concept where artists get to connect with foreign audiences and showcase their music in a raw and intimate setting, often leading to heartwarming interactions and cultural exchanges. It seems like the author referred to this show. It’s one of my favorite shows that I regularly watch, so I definitely recommend it if you are interested in kpop or pop music! There are YouTube clips available, too :)

Visit and read more novel to help us update chapter quickly. Thank you so much!