Chapter 447: Properly (1)
Posed with that question that was just asking for my confirmation, I could only nod my head at Nami. She already deduced it to that extent. Besides, I really had no intention to deny it.
“Un… We did it. It happened. When I left the infirmary earlier, Saki chased after me…”
Upon hearing me start to talk about what happened, Hina who was somewhat shocked from what Nami asked got another bout of a surprised expression on her face and Nami calmly listened to me.
I made sure to tell them everything about what leads to that event where I ended up doing it with Saki. My desire to release what I was feeling when we were interrupted in the infirmary and Saki being at the right place at the right time along with the right amount of persuasive power which made me lose to my desire.
Earlier at the Gymnasium, what Nami heard from Saki was just an abridged version wherein the part where Saki chased after me, entered the Boys Changing Room to asked for that chance, waited at the classroom where I asked if she’s truly determined to go through with it along with my warnings and the time we spent together inside that clubroom were all omitted.
This time, I made sure to include all of those except the full details of how we did it. Although it’s still fresh in my mind and I could still get some reaction on my little brother whenever I would remember Saki’s taste, I made sure not to be influenced by it at this moment.
“I see… I had my guess and it’s correct… The way she walked and moved earlier was too reserved as if she’s afraid to make big movements… Is it really that painful?”
The observer girl went into deep contemplation as she began recalling everything she observed from Saki before shifting her gaze to me or specifically to that part of me.
“I thought what I did was already extreme… Saki beat me to it….”
On the other hand, Hina had a complicated expression as she thought about how what she wanted to do with me was accomplished by Saki.
I put my hand on Hina’s chin and lifted it for her to look me in the eye, “It’s not a race on who goes first, Hina. But then again, this whole thing was entirely my fault. Because I couldn’t control myself. That’s why… I’m ready for the two of you to be mad at me. Teach me a lesson so that this won’t happen again.”
Because I was certainly afraid that I might do the same thing again given the circumstances, the only thing I could think of was to let them become my shackles.
However, knowing my girls and understanding how their mind works, I doubt they would do it.
No matter how many times I thought about it, I couldn’t find a solution for this new situation with Saki.
Although Saki and I already had an agreement to talk about each other in the coming days, I still have to be completely honest with my girls about this.
“Teach you a lesson? As if that will change you. Ruu, you have your desire and you admitted you cannot totally restrain it. You’re always honest to a fault when it comes to us or what’s happening to you so there’s surely no falsehood to what you just said about you losing against your desire… I will be lying if I don’t say I’m envious of her but that’s that. We’re not in a relationship just because we only lust over each other, we’re in a relationship like this because we love each other. Besides, I also wouldn’t choose you if the feelings you showed me were false.”
Nami pulled onto my head to make me look at her again as she was responding to what I said.
Furthermore, it’s not the end yet.
“Abnormal or not, this is what we signed up for. You’re a greedy man, a pervert and we are aware of that. It’s true that we want to change you completely and pull you away from your desire. However, it’s easier to say than to truly accomplish it.”
Nami shook her head with a bitter smile on her lips. She’s trying her hardest to appear unaffected in my eyes. But it still failed to mask that bitterness she was feeling over this issue.
It’s natural to feel like this and I knew that even if I tell her to vent out the frustration she was hiding inside her, she would refuse to do so. Perhaps, in fear that it would sour our relationship.
I am aware that they’re the ones sacrificing a lot in here, not me.
Even if it’s my greed and perversion that led to this situation, all of them will stop me from blaming myself to keep the positive mood around us.
Haa… What should I do with this? What’s the solution?
No. In truth, there’s no such thing as a solution. I was just making this too complicated for us by asking them to teach me a lesson.
“And as you said, it’s not a race. We also had our own intimate moments and more moments to look forward to. I asked and you confirmed. It’s alright now.”
After Nami finished her words, I noticed how her arms tightened around me. Like she said, she’s truly envious of her but she didn’t want me to dwell on it and make it awkward for us. Hugging me tight as if she’s telling herself that I’m hers became her reprieve over this situation.
And even if I understood the meaning of this action, I couldn’t just call her out or comfort her verbally, returning her hold onto me was the only thing I could do at the moment.
“Nami… Hina…”
“Ruki… It’s fine. I agree with what Nanami said. True, I’m quite envious that she got to do it with you but we’re also almost at that point had they not interrupted us… Just that, will Saki become like us?”
“At this point, it’s unclear whether she will be or not. She avoided the topic of ‘us’ when I tried to open it earlier. She’s guilty of what we did but… she’s not regretting it and she even reaffirmed her growing interest in me. I asked her for a talk earlier before going inside the clubroom and she agreed to it. She’s like a mystery to me and I am truly interested to know more about her.”
“I see… It’s like that… Ruu… That’s how she is. That girl, Saki. Most of the time she’s just ‘yes girl’ of the circle and she certainly thinks that she’s below us. That’s the reason why she avoided talking about it with you. She most likely believed that if you were to pick one, she wouldn’t be picked by you. And that’s also the reason why she’s fine to keep your relationship as it is, taking the chances that will be presented in front of her. Without any label, you two could stop at any moment when the fire of your desires to each other died down.”
As if she already analyzed Saki, Nami gave her evaluation of Saki and the possible reasons why she acted that way.
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