Chapter 297
“Having a baby is an extreme ordeal. To do that all by yourself without a family around you… If I knew, I would’ve never left your side, Pol.”
“It’s true that I was a bit scared, your highness.”
Lucius the First babied Poliana, who nodded at him vigorously. At times like this, Poliana and the emperor made a perfect couple. In front of the emperor, Poliana could be herself; she could tell him things she could never admit to others.
Poliana had been so anxious, but now she saw how understanding Lucius the First was about their situation, she became relieved. She even felt a little silly for worrying so much. She should’ve just told him everything from the beginning.
Since they now had a child together, they had to get married, but Poliana didn’t want to become the emperor’s wife. She guessed that Lucius the First didn’t necessarily want to have her as his wife either. If they both thought hard enough about it, perhaps they could come up with a solution. Of course, if they don’t, they will still have to get married. The important thing was that she knew the emperor would respect her and help her come up with a plan.
“Hehehe.”
Poliana giggled, making the emperor smile. He looked around the room leisurely and saw the warm fireplace and the woman sitting in front of it. The woman he loved. Her dark circles looked awful and her skin was rough, but her cheeks were flushed and her eyes shined with intelligence. The baby that resembled him was sleeping soundly in the nearby crib, making the entire room feel warm and peaceful. When he closed his eyes, a lovely sweet scent greeted him. It was the smell of a newborn and milk. The emperor could smell his from Poliana, too.
‘This feeling… It reminds me of that time.’
Poliana’s blushing cheeks made him remember the beautiful sunset that day at the cliff. Her smile also looked very similar to the one she had on that day. Lucius the First grabbed his mother’s ring inside his pocket. He could not be patient anymore.
“Pol, I have something I must tell you.”
The emperor decided to give up on wooing Poliana first. They now had a child. Not just any child, but a son. This baby was the emperor’s firstborn son. He could not have the baby remain a bastard, which meant he had to marry Poliana. To marry her, he had to propose to her, and before proposing, he first had to tell her how he felt about her.
Lucius the First needed to let Poliana know that he wasn’t marrying her just because of the baby. He wasn’t marrying her because he needed to, but because he wanted to. The emperor wanted to tell her that he has been in love with her for a very long time.
Lucius the First has felt affection towards Poliana soon after their first meeting. The depth of his feelings changed after that fateful day at the cliff of the southernmost region. Since then, his heart began to beat strangely, and his brain became filled with lust and conflict. The emperor now could admit that he was in fact obsessed with his knightess.
“Pol, that day at the cliff when I saw you…”
Poliana didn’t mean it, but she ended up making Lucius the First fall in love with her. The cruel part of this situation was that Poliana had no idea while the emperor suffered secretly.
“I learned that what I felt for you is love. I tried to hide it and deny it, but the fact didn’t change that I fell in love with you, Pol.”
He knew she might reject him. Either way, they had to get married and Lucius the First hoped that their feelings were mutual. The emperor quickly planned out his future in his head. A son who resembled him. A wife he loved with all of his heart. He was going to be the luckiest man in the kingdom. For a long time, Lucius the First did not think he was meant to have this kind of happiness, but now, his impossible dream was about to become a reality.
It was so close…
“I… I have been in love with you for a long time.”
The emperor kneeled on one knee in front of Poliana. He took out the ring, which shined brightly. The ownerless ring was now just about to find its new mistress. Before reaching for her hand, Lucius the First, who had his face down from shyness and nervousness, looked up.
When he saw Poliana’s face, his smile disappeared.
Her face was cold as ice; she certainly did not look like a woman happy to receive a proposal from the most eligible bachelor in the kingdom.
The gentle smile and flushed cheeks disappeared. Instead, her face was filled with shock, betrayal, and even resentment. Her eyes began to fill with tears. Lucius the First held her hand, which was trembling.
Only
“Your highness…”
Poliana bit her lips, unable to finish her sentence. Lucius the First knew immediately that he made a wrong choice by proposing to her like this. Poliana continued, “Your highness… My sovereign… The emperor of Acreia and the master of this land… You may be shocked to hear this, but I have never resented being born a woman in my entire life. Even when I was being raped by my superior… Even when I almost died during a battle because I wasn’t strong enough… Even when I was beaten just because I was a woman… Even when I was captured, bullied, ignored, almost poisoned, hated, and attacked just because of my gender… I never hated being born a woman. Perhaps I believed all of these things happened because it was wartime. Maybe I thought this was the same for everyone. It is also very possible that I just got used to being treated this way and so did not know any better.”
Her entire body shivered a little, but Poliana continued, “Your highness. I have never resented being a woman, but right now… You made me feel it. You made me hate being born a woman, your highness, my master, my savior; the one who gave me my sword. The first one who ever accepted me and allowed me to follow. You’re the very one who made me into a proper knight.”
Although her eyes watered, Poliana didn’t cry. She stared at the emperor in front of her. The most beautiful man in the kingdom… The man she could never even dare to have…
But even though this very man confessed his love for her, Poliana didn’t feel happy. Instead, she felt sad.
Lucius the First, the emperor of this kingdom. He was indeed her master and her everything. Poliana would gladly die for him. She was willing to do anything for him, but at this moment, Poliana condemned him.
“If the person who was behind you at the cliff was a man… If it was a man who shadowed you everywhere during the war to protect you… If I was a man, would you have loved me this way? Would the overwhelming excitement you felt at that time from conquering the world translates into the feeling of ‘love’ if I was a man standing behind you then?”
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