The Innkeeper

Lex, sitting comfortably upon Little Blue’s back, looked down at the knight. He was not ignorant of the knights’ existence, naturally. He also knew that the knight claimed to have died once, and to have originated from Earth. But even disregarding whether such things were true or not, Lex knew that getting the knight to cooperatively reveal what he knew would be far from easy.

Of course, just because it was difficult did not mean that Lex would disregard it entirely, which is one of the reasons why he finally stepped forward right now. Well, technically speaking, he was sitting, not stepping forward, but it was all the same.

“I’ve heard you’ve been looking for me. I don’t suppose you’d subscribe to the philosophy of walking and talking, would you? We’re in a bit of a rush to leave.”

The army and mech stepped out of the jungle and moved aside. As long as they were outside the jungle, they didn’t mind waiting a bit. After all, their subsequent series of actions had already been decided long ago.

“A funny one,” the knight said, his voice sounding not in the least excited at the proposition. “How marvelous. Let me guess, you’re sarcastic too.”

Lex raised an eyebrow. He was sensing an awful lot of sass for someone who was hiding his face behind a mask. Or maybe he just felt a little upset at Lex talking down at him. In his defense, Little Blue was the one flying in the air. It wasn’t like Little Blue had legs and could stand on the ground or something.

“Alright, I don’t mind having a little chat here. I can admit I’m a little curious about you, too. We can have a little quid pro quo. As a gesture of good faith, I’ll let you go first. What do you want to talk about?”

“I have a few essential questions to ask about. You see, I died before the end of a few shows I was watching. If you could… if you happen to know how they ended, it would scratch an itch that I’ve had for practical eons.”

Lex raised an eyebrow. Eons? Well, considering the strange flow of time here, it was possible.

“Why didn’t you just ask Z? He’s seen Earth shows. But whatever, go ahead. Ask. That’s a simple enough question.”

“He’s not from Earth. How could he possibly understand the influence that the Big Three had when they came out? I guess you can pretty much guess what I want to ask.”

Lex… suddenly had a bad feeling.

“What happened at the end of Two Piece? Did they find the treasure?”

Lex felt kind of bad, because the sheer enthusiasm in the knight’s voice almost made him sound like a regular teenage kid instead of an undying abomination forced to live in a hell eternally. Lex pondered whether to lie… but ultimately decided against it.

“The world kind of… ended before that show finished,” Lex admitted.

The Dark Knight stumbled off his mount, his hand grabbing his chest as if he had suffered a heart attack. Lex could have sworn he heard the sound of sobbing, but decided that he must have been imagining it.

“What… what about Beach? Don’t tell me it didn’t end either?”

“Oh boy,” Lex muttered as he pulled his collar. Why was it suddenly getting so stuffy?

“It… did end but… the studio kind of… rushed the ending. It was so bad that I… I never finished it. I think Z could probably tell you the ending if you’re really interested.”

The Dark Knight stumbled again, falling backwards. Lex could swear that he heard him cough out blood this time. This was probably the first time Lex genuinely felt bad for someone he was pretty sure he was going to end up fighting.

“What… what about Naruno? Wait… don’t even tell me the ending. Just… just tell me if he ends up getting the girl he’s been chasing the whole show?”

Kaemon watched the whole exchange, thoroughly impressed by Lex. He had no context for what was happening. All he knew was that, with but a few words, Lex had defeated this formidable foe. Not that Kaemon wouldn’t have been able to defeat him either. It would have just required a fight.

Luthor, from within the Midnight mech, began taking notes on psychological torture. He had no idea that Lex had expertise even in this field.

Lex looked away. He didn’t have it in him to watch the knight anymore, though his spirit sense and general awareness of what was happening around him ensured that he’d see nonetheless.

“No, he ends up with someone else,” Lex answered.

The Dark Knight, the formidable undying monstrous being, collapsed into the dirt, looking upwards into the sky. Although based on the number of years in the Origin realm, he hadn’t died so long ago. But due to the fluctuating flow of time within Abaddon, he had spent countless years within this barren land, imagining the various endings to his three favorite shows. It would not be an exaggeration to say that he had personally written millions of fanfiction episodes for all three shows.

But he was always sure that the actual ends would have been better. Now, learning the truth, he felt it was somehow worse than the time he had spent there.

Lex cleared his throat, as if he hadn’t just delivered devastating news.

“You don’t need to feel so defeated. It wasn’t all bad. In fact, there were a number of other incredible shows that came out because of them. If you stop trying to attack the castle and everyone in it, I’ll let you come in and watch.”

The knight turned his head towards Lex, and from behind his helmet gave him an incredibly hateful look, as if Lex was the reason behind his suffering.

Ignoring the look, Lex continued to speak.

“Now that I’ve answered some of your questions, why don’t you answer some of mine? I’ll start with something easy. Where were you from?”

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