The Two Hundred and Eighty Pound Fat Girl and Her Five Husbands
Chapter 146: Fart Symphony
Chapter 146
When Lin Zaozao was sizing up Princess Qianyue on the ground, her eyes accidentally met Lvzhi's.
Lvzhi stared straight at Lin Zaozao. His eyes held no fear or panic, only a hint of faint smile.
This Lvzhi does not seem simple!
"Zhuzhu, the show is over, we should head back now."
Han Ye gently said while standing behind Lin Zaozao.
"Brother Han Ye, please wait for me. I still have something to do! Once I'm done, we'll go back right away."
When Lin Zaozao turned around, the aura of an emperor around her disappeared without a trace.
"Zhuzhu, do you need my help?"
"No need. Brother Han Ye, please go outside the banquet hall with Dashan first. I'll be right out."
"Alright."
Han Ye and Lin Zaozao smiled gently at each other. He brought Dashan and headed outside. Since Zhuzhu wanted him to leave, waiting outside would suffice.
No one dared make trouble under his watch!
When Han Ye walked past Lvzhi, he glanced at him subtly. Lvzhi nodded imperceptibly at Han Ye's gaze.
At this banquet, as long as he was present, no one could harm his master under his nose.
Seeing Han Ye leave, the obedient expression on Lin Zaozao's face vanished instantly.
She looked over the young masters and noble ladies at the flower appreciation banquet, her eyes immediately brimming with obscene light.
Hehehe! Since the system said these people weren't good people, and anyone who could get close with Princess Qianyue and the Female Emperor of Fengshuo Country couldn't be up to much good.
Now, she, Lin Zaozao, would serve justice!
Lin Zaozao first walked up to the young master in white sitting in the front. She looked him up and down, her eyes full of disdain!
Damn, he looked like a greyhound, yet he dared to copy her precious Fan Tian by wearing white.
When her precious Fan Tian wore white, he exuded an immortal aura. But this greyhound wearing white looked no different from a wailing ghost, simply lame.
So under the shocked gaze of that noble young master, Lin Zaozao roughly pinched his cheek.
After pinching, she spat out two words.
"Greyhound!"
The next second, Lin Zaozao jumped over the banquet table, lifting her skirt. She stood in front of one of the finely-dressed noble ladies.
Lin Zaozao reached out and pinched her slender waist, objectively evaluating:
Willowy waist, big butt, truly seductive.
Before the noble lady whose waist was groped could react, Lin Zaozao turned and pounced on someone else.
Oh my! This girl had nice long legs, though she was cross-eyed. This man had fair skin, but looked like a sissy, rather unreliable.
This man had a perky butt, surely good for bearing children, but he was as short as a winter melon.
And this handsome boy was quite tall, but his chest was bigger than her buns, horrible.
And this beauty, her face was pretty, but her hair was dry and sparse, bundled on her head like a bird's nest.
And this and that...
Under Lin Zaozao's obscene actions, none of the young masters and noble ladies could escape her devilish claws. Wherever she went, the young masters and ladies ended up disheveled, panting coyly.
The ladies were fine, but the men almost had their clothes torn off by Lin Zaozao. Seeing their sorry states, Lin Zaozao felt a great sense of accomplishment from teasing people.
When Lin Zaozao's hand was about to reach Lvzhi, she quickly withdrew it. Looking at Lvzhi with disgust, she said:
"Gross, Granny won't tease this turtle spawn. He's so ugly I can't bring myself to do it.
Also, be careful around that cow Princess Qianyue in the future. Beware she milks you dry."
After giving Lvzhi a thoughtful look, Lin Zaozao turned and headed out of the banquet hall.
Watching Lin Zaozao's departing figure, Lvzhi was moved yet wanted to laugh, recalling her gaze before leaving.
His master was truly a genius. In such a short time, she had guessed his identity.
Of course, only a wise master could be worthy of his undying loyalty.
Swiftly withdrawing his gaze, Lvzhi glanced at the collapsed Princess Qianyue on the ground.
His eyes flashed a cold sneer.
The Pearl Princess whom Lord Han Ye protected with his life, how could she be schemed against by a brainless woman with big breasts like this?
After today's flower appreciation banquet, Princess Qianyue would become a discardable pawn.
Since the Pearl Princess was returning to Han Country, it was also time for him to leave. Even if he couldn't return to Han Country for now, he should go to other places to serve his role as a spy.
Lvzhi bent down to carry Princess Qianyue and strode straight outside.
But when he passed by the lotus pond, his footsteps unconsciously halted. Because Lin Zaozao's poem "The Male Toad Hugging the Female Toad" was truly laughable.
He dared guarantee that by tomorrow, under Lord Han Ye's influence, everyone in Fengshuo and Canglan would know he and Princess Qianyue were two stupid toads.
He felt so wronged being a spy. To be called a toad by his own master was unprecedented.
After seeing Lvzhi leave with Princess Qianyue, Lin Zaozao sneakily called out to the system around the corner.
【System, my precious darling system!】
【Kid, say what you want to say, fart if you want to fart.】
【Stupid system, can't you talk like a normal person? Can't I just sincerely praise you?】
【Kid, every time you praise me, you want something. Just tell me straight, stop wasting time.】
【Dear system! I just used the excuse of teasing to remove the illnesses from those young masters and noble ladies for free.
Now give me all the rewards for gaining 200 jin and farting loudly for 3 days, and use them on these people. Such great rewards shouldn't be wasted, right?】
【Alright! Next, host please enjoy the fart symphony! This melody is only worthy of the heavens, a rare "fragrance" for the human world!】
Right after the system spoke, amidst the sound of tearing clothes around the corner, Lin Zaozao heard the deafening "Fart Symphony"!
The continuous deafening fart sounds made Lin Zaozao's ears hurt, but also made her laugh till her stomach hurt.
Just as Lin Zaozao was giggling around the corner, she saw the ornamental fish in the lotus pond jumping to the surface competitively under the "Fart Symphony".
One golden fish even jumped to Lin Zaozao's feet.
Lin Zaozao crouched down and poked the fish's belly. She shook with laughter after the shock wore off.
My god! The system was right. This fart symphony was only worthy of the heavens, a rare "fragrance" for the human world.
But this stinky fart symphony was not only smelly, it could even shake fish out of the water.
This powerful "Fart Symphony", she wouldn't "enjoy" it anymore, she'd leave it for the Female Emperor of Fengshuo Country to slowly "savor"!
Gaining 200 jin suddenly, the Female Emperor must be too fat to walk now. With so much extra flesh, if she didn't properly "appreciate" this stench from heaven, how could she "comfort" her depressing mood?
Thinking of the Female Emperor's miserable state, in Lin Zaozao's heart, there was only...
Hahaha...
These loud farts and 200 jin of fat were still better off on someone else!
Indeed! Watching others suffer misfortune was the only way she, Lin Zaozao, could be happy.
She was simply not cut out to be a good person. Because her happiness was entirely built upon the pain of others.
After laughing enough, Lin Zaozao rubbed her aching stomach, wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes, and slowly stood up leaning against the wall.
"Ouch! I can't laugh anymore. If I keep laughing, I'll get cramps."
After kicking the fish at her feet back into the lotus pond, Lin Zaozao held her aching waist and slowly walked outside.
When Lin Zaozao walked to the outermost edge of the banquet hall early in the morning, and met with Han Ye Dashan, she saw more than ten handsome men of various styles standing in a row swaying weakly like a willow in the wind.
Lin Zaozao wiped away a tear, glanced at the eunuch San Bao next to those handsome men, and hid the smile at the corner of her mouth to ask:
"Eunuch San Bao, aren't these more than ten male concubines a gift from my dear aunt?"
"Princess Mingzhu, these male concubines have been specially trained. They are carefully selected gifts from His Majesty for you to take care of your life when you return."
Hearing Eunuch San Bao's words, Lin Zaozao let go of Han Ye's hand and walked up to those handsome men to ask them one by one:
"My aunt asked you to take care of my life. Tell me, what can you do? Let me arrange work for you too! Come on, tell me one by one, who can farm? Who can wash dishes and cook? Who can take care of children? Who can make clothes?"
Lin Zaozao's words made the expressions of those handsome men startled. Weren't they male servants sent by the Female Emperor of Fengshuo Country to serve this Princess Mingzhu? Which concubine of an empress needed to farm, wash dishes, cook and make clothes?
But thinking of the secret orders issued by the Female Emperor of Fengshuo Country, their faces quickly showed a fascinating smile. They began to introduce their specialties one by one.
"Princess Mingzhu, this humble one is called Yun Shu and can play the qin."
"Princess Mingzhu, this humble one is called Xiu Qi and can paint."
"Princess Mingzhu, this humble one is called Shu Wan and is proficient in bedroom affairs."
"Princess Mingzhu, this humble one is called Zi Huai and is proficient in fragrance arts."
"Princess Mingzhu, this humble one is called Bai Lang and can dance with palms."
"..."
After asking them one by one, Lin Zaozao didn't show it on her face, but she was blooming with joy in her heart.
Oh my! Although this Female Emperor of Fengshuo Country is not a good person, the gifts she gave are quite thoughtful.
Carefully counting, there were eighteen handsome men in total.
Hahaha...
Eighteen hunks!
Just as Lin Zaozao was fantasizing about the hunks, unintentionally, her eyes met straight with Eunuch San Bao's.
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