Transformation or Death

Romantic Death Incident (4)

Recently, Red Vega wasn’t the only one with accumulated dissatisfaction.

Blue Sirius.

Currently considered the best among magical girls in this country. Overwhelming in terms of win rate and number of subjugations. Due to her unique image of integrity and elegance, she’s also ranked as the top choice for advertising contracts.

Even for her, reigning at the pinnacle of the magical girl world, there were many dissatisfactions.

Dissatisfaction.

True to its meaning of being unfulfilled, a great void existed within her.

No matter how precious and expensive the things she adorned herself with, no matter how many delicacies she stuffed down her throat, the emptiness wouldn’t disappear.

All the praise, admiration, aspiration, and envy that came her way were like rocks. Rocks that would crush her to death the moment she made a mistake, as if it had always been that way.

The gazes of others were as creepy as a room full of holes, and their whispers were as irritating as the sound of mosquito wings.

She didn’t love her position as a magical girl. Therefore, everything that stemmed from being a magical girl only made her feel empty, unable to fulfill her.

Today was no different.

For someone who avoided media exposure, she detested things like advertisements. Occasionally, she would participate in public service announcements, but she disliked exposing herself commercially beyond that.

However, as the top in the industry, she had to set a precedent.

If she created a clean image by avoiding commercial advertisements, it might lead to ridicule of juniors who did advertisements as ‘money-crazy people’. If she charged less for advertisements because she didn’t need the money, even less would be paid to the children below her.

The combination of her rarity in not appearing publicly and charging maximum fees for advertisements made Blue Sirius’s ad fees the highest, not just limited to the magical girl industry.

Perhaps because of this, the magical girl industry, which had recently been short on activity funds, recommended Blue Sirius for an advertisement.

Today was the day of that shoot.

As she met eyes with the camera, Blue Sirius sank into regret.

‘What am I doing here right now?’

It was disgusting. Everything here, all the paths she had walked, she regretted.

‘Am I really the right person to be here, holding this expensive bag and getting paid this much?’

What was the point of protecting so many people?

When she couldn’t even properly protect the one person she loved.

She had become incredibly strong countless times. There were opportunities too. But she couldn’t use them. Neither strength nor opportunity was of any use. ȑаΝ𝘰ʙЕş

When he was kidnapped, when he was attacked by a strange person from New Year’s Day, during the operation she absolutely had to protect, she couldn’t protect him. He just luckily survived on his own. She couldn’t do anything.

So, why should I smile in front of the camera and receive money? What is there to show, what good is it to show this kind of thing?

The question that unconsciously arose created ripples like a stone thrown on a calm lake.

The smile she had meticulously crafted with reason began to crumble in the face of her true nature. The seductively upturned corners of her mouth trembled and turned downward.

A position that didn’t match her caliber and the burdensome praise that came with it, her own image that looked infinitely small compared to what others looked up to. Her face reflected in the lens like a mirror looked so detestable.

“I’m sorry.”

Finally, her lips that couldn’t bear it slowly opened.

“I don’t think I can do this today.”

That day’s advertisement shoot was canceled. After diligently making apologetic greetings, Blue Sirius headed somewhere as if possessed.

With an armful of liquor bottles she had sworn not to touch for a while, she headed to a place that had been frequently mentioned around her recently.

White Tiger Cafe.

After entering the store like that, her memory cut off.

“Mmm…”

The sunlight tickled her eyes. She was startled by the unfamiliar ceiling, different from her own home. But her body didn’t respond as quickly as her surprise. She felt groggy.

She sat up, holding her throbbing head. The sticky headache unique to hangovers wasn’t something that could be fixed with magical power. She, who was no different from an ordinary person when not transformed, painfully woke up.

“…Where is this?”

Her groggy state even made her vision blurry. She felt like she had seen this building before, but couldn’t remember exactly where. Lazily yawning, she shuffled out of the room.

“Oh, you’re awake?”

“Haha… Did you sleep well, Seol-hwa?”

Yoon Seol-hwa doubted her eyes. Why were they here? With a gasp, she looked around and realized this wasn’t her house, but Joo Ah-yoon’s. She remembered helping with the move and attending the housewarming party long ago.

“No, that, um… Uh? Why am I here…? Jae, Jae-jung, why… Ah!”

Worried she might look unsightly, Seol-hwa quickly adjusted her clothes and combed her hair with her fingers. Fortunately, she wasn’t exposing herself indecently, and was wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Thick jeans and a turtleneck. Not luxury brands, but cheap ones. They were her most comfortable clothes.

“…Senior, don’t you remember yesterday?”

“What did I…?”

“You don’t remember after causing all that trouble? Wow… That’s too much. We went through so much.”

“Me?! I mean, I do tend to cause trouble when I drink, but… That…”

Causing trouble in front of Han Jae-jung of all people? Seol-hwa couldn’t believe it. She had been so careful about managing her image until now.

She had tried her best (by her standards) to show only a cool, chic, and composed career woman image, to be someone he could trust and rely on.

Could everything have fallen apart in just one day? No way. It can’t be…

While trying to believe this, a cold and uneasy sensation ran down her spine. She couldn’t trust herself not to have caused trouble after drinking enough to black out.

As much as Yoon Seol-hwa disliked herself the most, she couldn’t trust herself.

“What… What did I do…?”

“Do you want to hear?”

“…No. Ah, but I should know my responsibilities so I should listen… Aah, but I don’t want to hear it….”

The desire to not hear about her shameful behavior from others conflicted with the need to know what mistakes she had made and take proper responsibility.

“Why are you talking about responsibility for something like that?”

Han Jae-jung chuckled and handed her a water bottle and a mug. Warm steam rose from the mug. The gentle aroma made her feel like her body was melting.

“Here, water and soup. Drink the water and clear your head a bit before drinking the soup.”

“Oh. Uh, okay… Thank you. Really. Thank you… But Jae-jung, why are you here? Are you living with Ah-yoon?”

“No, it’s not that. I just stayed over while bringing you here.”

“Oh, why?! You, you should just live together… Your place is dangerous…”

“Still, it’s not appropriate for a man and woman to stay together. Come on, the soup will get cold.”

In a daze, she grabbed the water bottle and was led to the dining table by his hand. Like a child being cared for, she drank the water and soup as given. It was warm and made her happy. Her upset stomach seemed to settle a bit.

“Are you okay? Should I make you some hangover ramen?”

“Ah, no! That’s not necessary! I’ll leave right after eating this…”

“Senior, haven’t you seen the time?”

Joo Ah-yoon gestured towards the clock with her chin. The hour hand had already passed 10 o’clock by quite a bit.

“I’ve already called in to say you’ll be late anyway. That Unicorn bastard said he wanted to talk about the advertisement. We have an appointment around 3, so take your time.”

“But still…”

Then her stomach growled. Seol-hwa’s face turned as red as autumn leaves. As she ate, her appetite started to return. Maybe it was a side effect of drinking strong alcohol without proper food yesterday. Feeling a great hunger, she nodded shyly.

“Then… Just one bowl…”

“Bro, did you hear? The lady says to cook.”

“Alright.”

Han Jae-jung approached the kitchen with excited steps.

Only after eating Han Jae-jung’s special hangover ramen with bean sprouts and clams did her hunger subside.

“…Sorry.”

“At times like this, you should say ‘Thank you for the meal,’ not ‘Sorry.'”

Han Jae-jung smiled bitterly as he cleared the empty bowl.

“I’ll, I’ll do it. Jae-jung, you just rest there. Originally, I shouldn’t have let you lift a finger…”

“You’re using an outdated expression. Do you want to risk breaking dishes while doing the dishes drunk? Just be shameless in these situations. That’s more comfortable for us too.”

He carefully moved her hand away from the empty dishes as if relocating a precious ornament, expressing his refusal.

“You’re right, senior. Be shameless. But don’t be as shameless as brother.”

“Why not?”

“You’re too shameless.”

“Come on, I’m a bit better than Haru or Ara.”

“Those two are on another level. Kids these days are scary…”

“You’re also one of those kids these days.”

“No way, how am I a kid?”

“You are a kid. That makes us both younger.”

“Then I should be even older. That way, you and senior will become aunty and uncle!”

“I’m dying.”

They exchanged trivial conversation. Yoon Seol-hwa felt as if she had returned to her student days. She was so happy then. No matter how much she lost, it seemed like everything would be fine as long as they were there.

“Hehe, that’s right. Tell me we’re still young. I’m still being called a ‘girl’. It’s too much to call me aunty.”

“Then senior is becoming a magical aunty now.”

“I’m not even married yet…! Ah, well, if I could… I’d like to.”

She glanced at someone specific while indulging in a dreamlike fantasy.

“So.”

“W-what do you mean, ‘so’?”

“What happened yesterday that made you drink alcohol you said you’d quit, come to our shop, and even act out in front of brother?”

Joo Ah-yoon’s words had a strangely sharp edge. The emphasis on ‘our shop’ made it seem like she was scolding her for causing trouble during business hours. But soon she realized that wasn’t the case.

She was more concerned about the inconvenience caused to ‘us’ inside the shop.

Yoon Seol-hwa realized she was the only outsider among the three.

Even if Joo Ah-yoon didn’t intend it, that’s how she felt. Her characteristic inferiority complex distorted even the words of the person she loved.

“I’m sorry…”

She was especially ashamed to face Han Jae-jung. Her downcast eyes pointed to her own pale hands. Soon, a shadow fell over those hands. A hand much larger and rougher than her own. A hand with prominent veins on the back, exuding masculinity. It was Han Jae-jung’s hand.

“Seol-hwa. We’re asking for the reason now. We want to listen and be your strength. Why did you suddenly act like that? Did you have a particularly hard day? Or…”

Ridiculously and detestably, she felt her pain wash away with just this one touch. Her suffering melted away like snow.

Drowning one’s sorrows in alcohol is wrong. Yoon Seol-hwa knows that too. That’s why she tried to erase the difficult day even while committing that sin. She tried to erase any remaining ethics or conscience to fill herself with selfish happiness like now.

“…It’s not anything like that. It wasn’t that I had a particularly hard day… Really, I was just momentarily exhausted.”

He is like sunshine. In contrast, she is like a snowman.

Melting before him, but too shabby and unworthy to be by his side.

“I really just did it because I was momentarily exhausted. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not about being sorry…”

“Jae-jung.”

Yoon Seol-hwa didn’t want to burden even him with her worries, pain, and anguish. She didn’t want to make him help carry this boulder-like burden. She wanted his shoulders to be light and free. Because he was too noble a person to be stained with her blemishes.

“Can you just hold me tight without saying anything? Then I’ll be alright.”

So instead of sharing her pain, she decided to receive light from him. A light to live in the world for a moment. A warmth that would be fine even if she melted completely.

“…Alright.”

Han Jae-jung embraced her without saying much. Yoon Seol-hwa received his hug with a pure smile, completely different from her camera-ready one. She nuzzled her cheek against his neck, receiving his warmth.

Before lunch, Yoon Seol-hwa left the house.

***

Ippotranslation 

***

Sagittarius sighed and looked up at the empty sky. He couldn’t believe what he had just seen. He had hurriedly returned, thinking something special might have happened while he was briefly distracted by memories. But there was no harvest. Moreover, the so-called magical girl hero only made weak noises. It was pathetic.

“A hero getting tired? How absurd… If you’re going to claim to be a hero, you should always be perfect. Ah… This is why kids these days…”

He scratched his arms covered in drug marks until his veins were visible, expressing his irritation.

“There’s no romance! The hero can’t save people, and people can’t praise the hero! The villain is only cunning and not dignified, and the hero is only anxious about that cunning… Ahhh!”

The lamentation continued, and Sagittarius soon came to one conclusion.

“…Then. What if I become that villain?”

Now even surveillance has become boring, and his body is itching for action.

“Ah, yes. I should make a move after a long time.”

He took out his bow with a smile.

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