Transformation or Death

Life of Downfall (5)

“W-Wait! Please listen to what I have to say!”

Han Jae-jung locked himself in his room, ignoring Baek Ah-hee frantically knocking on the door.

Usually, he would have reacted sensitively, worrying about disturbing the neighbors, but not this time.

He didn’t have the mental capacity to care about her.

-Jae, Jae-jung! Your pretty counselor is here?! Let’s spend some cozy time together…!

“Belt.”

Han Jae-jung called his belt again.

“Explain my physical condition.”

The sound of banging on the door echoed through the room. Han Jae-jung continued to concentrate, using the noise as white noise. The belt maintained its silence even under Han Jae-jung’s sharp gaze.

Eventually, the violent knocking sounds faded away in his ears, leaving only the serenity of silence lingering.

Neither the belt nor Han Jae-jung made a sound.

In this strange standoff, the belt was the first to back down.

[…I understand the Guardian’s dissatisfaction.]

The belt, which always used objective and precise expressions, used a subjective expression. ‘Understand.’

The understanding here would be better interpreted as empathizing and accepting another’s circumstances, rather than just comprehending context.

[You must be frustrated that I, who should help you, couldn’t resolve your anxiety and only maintained silence.]

Even using the first-person pronoun ‘I.’

The belt was now speaking as an equal intelligent being, not just a piece of machinery.

[I don’t expect understanding, but I have several obligatory requirements. Within this system, I cannot violate those obligations.]

“…”

Han Jae-jung listened to everything the belt said without saying much.

[One of those obligations is protecting the Guardian. Through the belt’s function of possibility observation, I must predict dangers approaching the Guardian and defend against them. This takes the form of quests or recommendations for specific actions.]

“…”

[To the question of why it’s done through simple action instructions rather than direct reports, I can answer that this too is an obligation. Besides the obligation to protect the Guardian, I also have an obligation to prohibit direct statements. It’s an obligation to respect the various possibilities created in the process of the Guardian hearing and thinking about quests, and in carrying out quests. This takes precedence over the previous protection obligation.]

“And there must be an obligation that takes precedence over that obligation.”

The belt affirmed his question.

[That’s correct. Among them, the most precedent obligation is to make the Guardian fulfill the contract. Even if there is a threat to the Guardian’s safety, I cannot speak information that interferes with contract fulfillment.] Ṝ𝘈ƝỒ𐌱Ɛᶊ

Han Jae-jung finally realized why the belt had been silent all this time. It couldn’t speak from the beginning.

Contract fulfillment occurs in transformation state. The fact that transforming reduces lifespan would make one hesitate to transform, thus interfering with contract fulfillment. Especially in Han Jae-jung’s case.

Guardian of Magical girls.

For him who volunteered to protect heroes, the most important requirement is force. Force requires transformation.

The stars coldly demand payment equal to what they’ve given. If they saved a life, then one must risk their life accordingly.

As always, it was either transform or die.

The stars only wanted promises fulfilled through transformation, and didn’t care about anything else.

Whether one dies from overusing transformation wasn’t their concern.

“…I see.”

Han Jae-jung collapsed into his seat dejectedly.

[Therefore, I cannot speak.]

If it wasn’t terminal illness, there would have been no need to convey meaning so roundabout – a simple denial from the start would have sufficed. But instead, it revealed the obligations it had been hiding until now.

“So it was true…”

It meant there were no lies in what Botis said.

Toxins accumulate in the body from receiving starlight without purification, resulting in hastened death, and becoming a villain after death.

The Sagittarius he saw before had a metal ball similar to what the belt has now attached to its waist even after death, and there was a corpse under the armor. It seemed to remember nothing of its human period, not hesitating to mock magical girls and not considering civilian involvement.

Even if it was human before, that appearance was undeniably that of a villain.

If it’s a villain, there should naturally be a corresponding purpose. While Han Jae-jung couldn’t know exactly what his purpose was, unlike other villains, he felt he could understand ‘why’ he came to have that purpose.

‘Since he could use the belt, he must have gotten a purpose during the contract…’

Just as he has the purpose of being the guardian of Magical girls, and Joo Ah-yoon has the purpose of protecting dreams, he must have had a purpose too.

Probably, even after the body and ego perish, one becomes a villain to continue fulfilling that purpose. Thinking this way, he could guess why the transformation system deliberately didn’t inform about the lifespan issue.

Because from the stars’ perspective, there wouldn’t be much difference whether the body dies from starlight addiction or not. They protect against death from external factors but leave death that doesn’t interfere with purpose fulfillment as is?

“Damn, these bastards are fucking rational…”

Die if you don’t transform.

Get closer to death if you transform.

If you die from transformation, a villain is born using the corpse as a medium to forcibly inherit the mission.

It’s an efficient death trap with no way out. Han Jae-jung just laughed.

Han Jae-jung thought of Red Vega. Violence beyond what the quest indicated. A sin that still can’t be taken back. After becoming a villain, it was clear as day that he would commit such acts again and again.

They might even go as far as tearing off the limbs of all magical girls and imprisoning them, unable to move, all in the name of protecting magical girls.

A villain who doesn’t follow ethics or basic goodness, only thinking about fulfilling duties. Also, Han Jae-jung as a person no longer exists in those actions. A corpse that has lost its life and self is covered in armor, becoming someone completely different.

What a terrible death this is. A life that should have ended in fragments has gained continuity. It’s not just ending with death, but even after death, it continues to bring wailing.

The blood that will flow from their death won’t just be their own, but will include someone else’s blood too.

It was futile. A terminal illness. And to think it’s a terminal illness fated for a twisted death.

Rather than becoming such a monster, accepting Botis’s proposal and taking that gamble… No, suicide would be better. That would be a more certain means of protection.

[…Guardian.]

“I know.”

Han Jae-jung recalled the feeling of the rope he once held and nodded at Belt’s words.

I know. It’s not all over yet. Someone who possesses a machine that chases possibilities shouldn’t speak of giving up.

But the fatigue was real. Han Jae-jung tilted his sitting body like a roly-poly toy and collapsed onto the floor. Negative energy usually disappears after sleeping and waking up. Since today’s fatigue is severe, let’s sleep on it and think about it after waking up.

At that moment, an intense pain struck Han Jae-jung’s left eye.

“Ugh…!”

He couldn’t even properly scream from the pain that felt like his eye was being branded with a hot iron. As he clutched his eye and trembled, Belt brought its black body close to his face.

[Due to the penalty for excessive speech, I will soon enter sleep mode for a while. I won’t be able to give advice like now or assist in battle. The only interference remaining will be quests.]

The knocking sound was no longer heard. Instead, Han Jae-jung’s intermittent groans of pain and Belt’s mechanical voice filled the room.

[This might be presumptuous, but I think it’s okay for the Guardian to give up. Anyone can regret their choices, and you’re not old enough or far enough along to lose everything with one surrender.]

Even through the searing pain in his eye, Belt’s voice was strangely clear. It was as if the voice was resonating directly in his head.

[If that’s what you want, I will assist you to the maximum extent within the system’s boundaries. The intensity, frequency, and timing of quests – I will adjust everything so you can live a normal life.]

Despite its mechanical voice, the content of the words was highly subjective. In other words, human-like. Today more than ever, Belt felt like a living being to Han Jae-jung.

Was it speaking so much now because it had been silent for so long? Or was it conveying messages in advance before the upcoming silence? It stretched out its words like setting off final fireworks.

[But at the same time, if you choose to continue fulfilling the contract, I will assist with that as well.]

The pain in his left eye intensified. Suddenly, he noticed red dot-like starlight leaking from that eyeball. Each dot felt like a drop of blood. It felt like his eye was melting.

[I express my respect for all the possibilities you may reach.]

The pain that exceeded his capacity to endure gradually blurred his consciousness.

[Please. Show me the stars again.]

With those final words from Belt, Han Jae-jung lost consciousness.

Belt observed the red starlight overflowing around him for a while, moving back and forth, before shutting down.

[Temporary body recovery successful.]

The faint red light flowing around the metal ball disappeared.

***

Ippotranslation 

***

When Han Jae-jung woke up, he felt something was off. It wasn’t discomfort from pain. Rather, he felt too refreshed. There was no trace of fatigue or tiredness, and even his left eye that had hurt so much yesterday was fine.

He felt strange because his body, which had been dying in pain every day, was now perfectly healthy.

“What is this…?”

Han Jae-jung became anxious because his body, which should have been in pain, was healthy.

“No way….”

He anxiously looked at his smartphone screen. There were numerous missed calls from Joo Ah-yoon. And twice as many missed calls from Yoon Seol-hwa, and he confirmed that the time had already passed 9 o’clock.

“Oh shit.”

Terminal illness or not, he was going to die today. Han Jae-jung hurriedly gathered his clothes and headed outside.

As soon as he opened the door, he discovered a human figure.

“Ah.”

“…Miss Vega?”

It was Baek Ah-hee, crouching in front of the door. On this day before spring had arrived, even with gloved hands, she seemed cold as she cupped her hands and blew warm breath into them.

“You still haven’t gone home?!”

Han Jae-jung was shocked. Surely she would have gone home after a few hours. How could anyone be so foolish as to wait in front of the door all day like this.

‘Wait, all day?’

How many hours had this girl been outside? In this cold weather, she stayed here continuously without transforming? A chill ran up Han Jae-jung’s spine.

“F-First, come inside!”

Without time to think, Han Jae-jung took Baek Ah-hee’s hand and helped her up. Even though the house had no heating, it would be better than outside. He should give her lots of blankets and serve her some warm cocoa.

Whatever reason she had for stubbornly staying here could be heard later.

“W-Wait a moment, Jae-jung?”

Baek Ah-hee, lifted up by Han Jae-jung’s hand, asked in confusion.

“Are you crazy? Sleeping outside in this weather. What if your face gets paralyzed…”

“That’s a bit rich coming from you, Mr. Former Homeless Person.”

“Is that what’s important right now? Just because someone has that past doesn’t mean they can’t worry about others.”

“That’s, that’s hypocritical!”

“Yes, yes, it’s hypocritical, so hurry up and come inside. That was your goal anyway, right?”

While pulling Baek Ah-hee’s arm, the next-door neighbor’s door suddenly opened.

“Yeah! Another energetic day of work! Oh, Weaver and Aniki!”

The person living next door. White Davi.

“Weaver, thanks for visiting yesterday! I thought you went to work, but you were hanging out with Aniki! Well then, I’m off to work!”

“…Visited?”

Han Jae-jung looked around Baek Ah-hee. The large trunk that was clearly visible last night was now gone.

‘She stayed at that house.’

Thankfully, she hadn’t slept outside. Han Jae-jung internally sighed with relief. At the same time, he felt an inexplicable sense of betrayal.

It felt like seeing a daughter who had acted like she was suffering after leaving home, but was actually being well-treated and living comfortably.

“Since your luggage is still in my room, I guess you’re visiting again today?”

“Ah, that… I’m planning to stay at Jae-jung’s house tonight… Eep!”

Baek Ah-hee answered without thinking and then covered her mouth. Haru’s eyes turned suspicious.

“Why is Weaver going to brother’s house…?”

Baek Ah-hee knew that look in Haru’s eyes. It was the look when she spotted rumors or suspicious speculation.

“Pa-pajama party! We’re having a pajama party!”

“Oh, a pajama party! I’ve seen those in manga! Sounds fun! Ah, but I don’t have pajamas… Oh, I’ll buy some!”

“Right! But pajamas are for sleeping, right? And the sun is still bright now, so let’s play at night.”

“Oh, sounds good! See you tonight then! Ittekimasu (I’m off)!”

White Davi left with a foolish smile. Still so gullible. What a friend who believes others’ words suspiciously well. Han Jae-jung smiled slightly.

“Th-Then… Shall we go inside? Us.”

“Ah, just go to work, Miss Vega.”

“I took the day off today!”

“Really?”

“Self-declared holiday.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Hey, not as crazy as you, Jae-jung.”

Baek Ah-hee smiled brightly while subtly clinging to his arm. The way she pressed her abdomen against him was particularly noticeable.

“After doing such terrible things to me when I was still young enough to wear a school uniform… Right?”

Han Jae-jung was shocked by this cunning behavior but also felt nostalgic. Even though it had only been a day since she last did this, it felt like it had been a long time.

‘Am I getting used to this….’

Though the abdomen appeal had lost most of its effectiveness, it was different for Han Jae-jung who remembered beating her just yesterday. He stiffened his face and tried to pull his arm away.

Baek Ah-hee hugged his arm tighter and even started rubbing her face against his forearm.

“Besides, you’re the one who invited me! Why are you changing your words! Should I get upset? Should I get upset as fast as a comet?”

“Okay, okay, I get it.”

Finally, Han Jae-jung surrendered. Though he was planning to let her in anyway, he felt like he had lost somehow.

“Yes~”

“Miss Vega, you really have a bad personality.”

“What?”

As soon as they entered the house, Baek Ah-hee took off her socks and walked around barefoot, glaring at Han Jae-jung with displeasure.

“You promised to call me Ah-hee, not Miss Vega.”

“…Why is that so important?”

“No! Names are important!”

Baek Ah-hee moved her finger as if drawing a line between herself and Han Jae-jung.

“Right now, we’re meeting as person to person. Before being a magical girl, I’m just a girl in front of you, Jae-jung. Of course… The same goes for you.”

“…”

“Hehe, so. Formal titles don’t really fit, right? We’re just people now. We should be closer. Chatting comfortably, empathizing with each other, comforting each other…”

Pausing her words and trembling her lips for a moment, Baek Ah-hee smiled again as if nothing had happened.

“That kind of relationship between people.”

Not family registry members, not teacher and student, not destined enemies. Just person to person. Baek Ah-hee wished for various relationships with him. Han Jae-jung had tacitly agreed to all those relationships.

It was the same now.

What Baek Ah-hee wanted was an uninhibited relationship between people.

“Let’s be close without barriers. Hm… Share your worries with me too.”

“Are those removed socks evidence of removing barriers?”

“No? I just took them off because they were uncomfortable?”

“If you want to be so comfortable, why not take everything off? Isn’t the floor cold? How brave of you to walk around barefoot.”

“Oh, really?”

“If you really do it, I’m kicking you out.”

Han Jae-jung frowned obviously. For some reason, Baek Ah-hee found this hilarious and laughed out loud.

“Hahaha, right. This. This is the kind of relationship I wanted with you, Jae-jung.”

She didn’t want to be sad. Baek Ah-hee briefly looked down at the floor gloomily, then raised her head to meet Han Jae-jung’s eyes.

“Jae-jung. There’s something I’m curious about.”

[Quest appeared.]

At that moment, a voice came from the metal ball.

Even though Belt had entered sleep mode, it had said quests would continue to be given. As if to prove those words true, Belt’s voice continued.

It was a different voice from before. Even more mechanical than mechanical. A very cold and authoritative voice.

“Jae-jung, have you been suffering from any illness recently…”

[Survive.]

One of the frequently appearing quests.

Simple content.

A straightforward task.

Therefore, a difficult task.

“…Jae-jung?”

Right behind Vega, through the window, a crimson line approached.

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