When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

Two immortal cultivators rode a cloud down from the fog, their robes only fluttering enough to look elegant and pretty. Their faces, or what we could see of them, were flawless and symmetrical. They appeared like two inhumanly gorgeous statues... at least that was the aesthetic they were going for.

When they reached a point in front of the massive sect gate, they looked down at the mortal children... both figuratively and literally.

I sighed. Because I knew these two. The man was Bland Meat Bun, an immortal chef, and the girl was Clever Pear Blossom, a four arts cultivator.

Not only were they the same inner sect disciples who spoke during my original test, but they were also the ones who taught me how to host this trial back when it was my turn to take their place... after that one time I pissed off Fairy Verdant Bamboo and she gave it to me as a punishment.

I didn’t remember what, exactly, I had supposedly done, but it definitely wasn’t my fault! She still blamed me for it.

And when I took part, the sect didn’t give me any contribution points!

Wait a second!

It was the fault of that very dumb rabbit spirit beast! The one that idiot Bloodsword gifted to Fairy Verdant Bamboo. It hated me (because, of course, it did). One day it ran off and ended up dead. Eaten by something or someone.

She blamed me for it just because she found one of my hairpins nearby. As if that was sufficient proof!

Frankly, I still had no idea what really happened.

I assumed one of Bloodsword’s braindead wives was behind it. Fucking petty bitches.

I wasn’t even part of his goddamn harem so why the fuck did they involve me in their stupid harem intrigue bullshit?

The plot they’d cooked up was so idiotic that it shouldn’t have worked! I didn’t even eat food anymore. I had been using spiritual energy to sustain my body like a good immortal cultivator.

But, I guess the sheer stupidity of it was why Fairy Verdant Bamboo let me off with merely volunteering to be a host of the sect trials.

Whatever.

It was time to watch a good show. Because that’s what this was. A show. One that these two were putting on to hype up the kids and display the majesty of immortal cultivation.

“We’re the Indomitable Will Sect!” Both Clever Pear Blossom and Bland Meat Bun said. Their voices reached the ears of everyone in the waiting area as if they spoke directly to them.

Bland Meat Bun crossed his arms behind his back and tried to look imperious. It seemed to work on the kids around me, but I knew better. I’d seen him get his ass kicked too many times to think he was in any way grandiose. “Our Indomitable Will Sect is only accepting those disciples who have the talent for immortality.”

“But talent alone will not cut it. Not for our sect.” Said the girl who fell off a flying sword because she was too used to fans.

“To reach for immortality, you must have an indomitable will! A will that can bend but never break.” Said the guy who cried when his spiritual duck overcooked for the tenth time in a row.

“One that can outlast time itself.” Said the girl with no sense of time, who was always late by a day or more because she wanted to look perfect.

“If you think you’re good enough to join our sect, then we have bad news. You need to pass our trials first!”

“Those who do will join the outer sect at the very least.”

“And those few who prove to have both top talent and a high will might just make it into the inner sect.”

“There is even a chance for a fated few to become the direct disciple of one of our esteemed sect elders.”

All around us, the children and their guardians shook with excitement. They must have been having their minds explode with possibilities and hope.

It was a shame most of these kids wouldn’t even make it past the gate.

Pear Blossom glared down at everyone. “This path is not for the faint of heart. There is a possibility that you’ll die during these trials.”

Yeah. That was supposed to sober everyone up. It didn’t.

“Only those willing to face death can get ahead.” Bland Meat Bun stomped and the fog just beyond the gate cleared up showing a steep foothill with a massive stone staircase just beyond the huge red gate.

“Only those who can walk a willful path can enter our sect.”

“For those who can’t? Scram!”

Then the two sect members flew off, leaving the gates open with nothing but those vague instructions.

Of course, I knew they were actually watching from a hidden location. Their job at this point was to make sure no undesirable people passed through these first two challenges without a sufficient amount of difficulty.

The crowd surged forward. Thousands of people raced up to the gate. Everyone entered, even those who had no business even trying. Only a small percentage actually made it past the gate itself to the first stair step. The rest were teleported back to the town… eventually, anyway. There was no point in teleporting them right away, since they could just run back and try again. That was just a waste of the sect’s spirit stones.

Frankly, trials like these were an enormous expense for the sect. It took a massive amount of energy to run something like this. But — according to the people I complained to — it proved our superiority as the number one sect on our continent. So, it was worth it? Maybe? At least it wasn’t as time-consuming as going through hundreds of thousands of applicants by hand.

It didn’t take long for us to worm our way through the crush of people. Just before we reached the gate, I pulled Little Spring over to one of the pillars for a semi-private chat. “You should go ahead. There’s something I need to take care of.”

The kid paused as if he were reluctant to leave.

“Hey, you’ll be fine. It’s not like I won’t quickly catch up. Besides, even if I don’t, they might split us up regardless of what we do.”

He hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Just... be safe!”

I grinned and smoothed his hair. He scowled. Then, with a huff of exasperation, he turned and slipped in between a few cultivators so he could step beyond the massive gate.

Now that my little brother was taken care of, it was time to talk to an old friend.

I peered up at the massive wood structure. It stood in front of the sect while appearing absolutely mundane... except that it wasn’t.

This gate was actually an enormous spiritual tool. One that wasn’t simple.

This magnificent paifang had a very special spirit.

Not only was this spirit responsible for sifting through those who fit within a certain set of circumstances, but when activated, he also looked at the souls of those who passed under his arches.

Because of this, there was no possible way I could pass through without getting caught. The spirit would take one look at my soul age, compare it to my bone age, then throw me out without asking any questions.

Only a very powerful spirit could do something like this on this scale.

Though this caused trouble for me, I didn’t blame the sect for wanting to look at the souls of prospective disciples. There were too many instances of old demonic cultivators stealing the body of a young kid to infiltrate the sect.

Having this senior spirit look at their soul was just a quick way to ensure that didn’t happen easily.

I ran my hand over the red-painted spiritual wood, truly admiring the craftsmanship of my old friend. Then I flicked his weak spot. It was one that would need to be fixed in the next few centuries. Then I did it again, adding a bit of spiritual energy to my flick. The wood vibrated under my fingertips as if the gate held in a shudder.

Probably because it had to stay incognito due to the event, my friend didn’t appear in front of me and instead communicated directly through my mind.

::Who Are You?!::

::Greetings, Senior Auspicious Paifang. The Ancient One Who Peers at Souls.::

::WHO ARE YOU? AND HOW DO YOU KNOW MY WEAK SPOT?!:: Even though he was just yelling in my brain, the sheer power of it almost caused me to cough up a mouthful of blood. If I didn’t want to hide the fact that I was speaking with this senior, I would have already bowed in respect.

::I am Fairy Lin. Someone whose soul belongs with her body, but whose soul age is far greater than her bone age. Possible disciple of Immortal Zhenren Sword Within the Light of Virtue.::

He paused as if considering. As an ancient entity that could judge the soul of others, he wasn’t an idiot. And he was also once a good friend of mine... before he was destroyed.

::I have received permission from the sect to take the trials despite my higher cultivation. But, knowing you, you would throw me out before I even took my first step. So I’d like to give you the chance to judge me first.::

::Why Should I?::

::Because you were made to love the sect.::

A loud snort filled my mind. ::What Of It?::

::I also love this sect. It was my home in the future.:: I paused so he could get the meaning of that simple sentence. ::Please, Senior, give me the chance for it to be my home in this future as well... And in exchange, when I’ve become an Immortal Bone Creation expert, I’ll repair your weak spots. I will even go beyond that and make you stronger!::

::!::

I could feel the exclamation mark he shouted into my head. Because a little Qi Condensation cultivator like me saying to a spiritual tool as powerful as him that they could make him stronger was ridiculous...

What was likely even more shocking to him was that I didn’t lie. He knew I didn’t. It was part of his makeup to know if someone hid the truth, after all.

This senior was ancient, powerful, and knew how to keep secrets. Not even a sect ancestor could get him to talk.

And I tried!

That was the only reason I decided to tell him the truth. But doing so was still risky. He could decide that having someone who knew a possible future was a liability to the sect instead of a boon. Or he may decide that I had changed so much from where I started that I no longer meshed with the sect. Though, that was unlikely.

I waited for his decision. It seemed to take forever. In reality, it only took a few heart-pounding seconds.

::Very Well, Little Lin! I Will Give You One Chance.::

::Thank you, Senior!::

::If You Dare Harm The Sect!::

::I won’t!::

::You Better Keep Your Word!:: This part was definitely more about fixing him up and strengthening him than about me harming the sect.

::I will.:: With that said, his presence left my mind.

I grimaced. Fixing him up and improving his strength would be expensive, but worth it. Besides, the sect would pay for it. The hard part would be finding the treasures needed to improve his already impressive strength.

Whatever. That was for future me to figure out.

Because all of this had taken place in my head, it actually hadn’t been a very long conversation. It wasn’t like I awkwardly stood there while weirdly caressing the gate for ten to twenty minutes.

That would be... a bit obvious. In reality, our conversation only lasted a minute or two.

This had still taken longer than I would have liked.

Giving the gate one last friendly pat, I hopped through just after someone else... and when that person suddenly vanished, I immediately ran into Little Spring’s side. I stopped us both from toppling over, then straightened up before taking a step away so I could see what the fuck was going on!

Frankly, it was a good thing a majority of those who entered the gates didn’t make it through or we’d all be crushed under everyone’s feet.

Little Spring pulled me further from the gate then grabbed my sleeve. He then faced another person doing an impression of an orange traffic cone— the young master of the Zheng clan! A tall lackey stood next to the young master, arms crossed and looking menacing.

These kids continued to glare at each other even after my interruption.

I glanced beside us at the familiar-looking chubby kid who stood behind Little Spring. He clutched at his broken nose glowered at the young master with a mix of fear and anger.

I was only gone for two minutes! What happened? And who the fuck was that new kid?

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