Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

Point-of-View: Sylvar Miirphys

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How would Bell describe me using just one word...? Hm...yeah, no, I don't have a clue.

I mean, plenty of words have synonyms, right, so even if I do guess what kind of meaning she'd go for in describing me, guessing the exact word she'd use is next to impossible!

Plus, I'd imagine that she'd go for something positive, and if I go with something like 'cool' or 'awesome' and guess wrong, I'll end up looking really narcissistic and arrogant! Well, I'm pretty sure she won't use words like that anyway.

Since she's always hanging around me these days, I can tell that her manner of speech is changing slightly thanks to my influence, but at this point, it's still a pretty minor change.

"Ahem, have you not decided on an answer yet? We do not technically have a time limit for how long you can take to answer, but, uh...," Spoke up the Vampire sheepishly.

"Huh? Oh, uh, my bad...okay, my answer is...," I began to respond, deciding to go with the first thing that came to mind and blurted it out, "...cool!"

Wait, what did I just say?

"H-hold on, that was a slip-up-...," I started to retract it with a stutter.

"That is correct," Interrupted Bell, as she flipped the answer card over...which had the word 'cool' written on it...

Huh? What? How?

"Wha-...I have literally never heard you use the word 'cool' other than when referring to temperature!" I exclaimed in surprise.

"Oh, you do not remember? I asked you what 'cool' meant in the context that you often use it in, and when you explained it to me, I remember thinking that it almost sounded like you were describing yourself. At least, that how it felt to me," She explained in reply, before adding, "I think that you are 'cool', Sylvar...am I using it correctly?"

...not sure how much more of this I can handle...

"Y-yeah, uh...you are...," I muttered in response, feeling more than a little embarrassed.

"It is, um, your turn again, miss," Remarked the Vampire, looking like she was about to die from the second-hand embarrassment...I'm so sorry...

"Okay...if we can get the next four correct as well, we shall receive the chocolate! Let's do it, Sylvar!" Declared Bell with an excited glint in her eyes, as she drew the next question card.

Way to put pressure on me...still, I can't be mad at that beaming face...

"What does it say?" I asked her.

"The question is...'how old is your partner? If above 100, you may round off to the nearest 10.'...so, I do not have to be precise?" She remarked as she read the card.

"Indeed, in this case, your answer does not necessarily have to match what is written on the corresponding answer card," Replied the Vampire affirmatively.

Honestly, even I'm not a hundred percent sure of my exact age in this world, let alone when my birthday precisely is...I mean, after a certain point, I just stopped bothering to count. I think it was around the time I turned eighty, counting the years seemed like a hassle, so instead, I kept track of the decades.

I think I'm close to 160 years old now, should get there sometime late next year, or maybe early in the year after. Really not sure. I wrote 158 on the corresponding answer card, so Bell needs to go with anything that rounds up or down to 160.

"I...I do not know...," She frowned with a conflicted look on her face, "I have no choice but to guess...is it...140?"

Aw, that was kinda close, but she's a couple of decades off...

"Honestly, I don't know what my exact age is, but...I'm fairly certain that it's closer to 160," I said as I revealed the card, Bell's expression immediately going from anticipative to disappointed.

"Oh, I...I got it wrong. I do not even know your age...," She muttered, looking upset.

"D-don't worry about it, it's no big deal! Like I said, even I don't know what my exact age is, so it's nothing to stress over!" I assured her.

"Yes, but..."

"Um, excuse me...would you like to continue playing?" Inquired the Vampire.

"No, thank you...if I could not even answer such a simple question correctly, there is no point," Responded Bell, before leaving the booth with a downcast look on her face.

I rushed after her as the next couple entered the booth, catching up to her in an alley and grabbing her hand.

"Hey, calm down, you're overreacting. Not knowing my age really isn't-...," I began, in an attempt to comfort her.

"I...I could not win the free chocolate!" She cut me off with a cry.

Huh? Wait...that's why she's upset? Because we missed out on the chocolate? Not gonna lie, that kinda annoys me...

"I had no idea that you could be such a brat...," I sighed in exasperation as I lightly chopped the back of her head.

"Ow, that-...oh, actually, it didn't hurt at all."

"Alright, come on," I remarked, taking hold of her hand and pulling her.

"Where are we going?" She inquired in surprise.

"Let's check out some of these stores...I'll get you as much chocolate as you want, so stop sulking," I responded, before her eyes lit up as she let out an excited squeal and latched onto my arm with a wide, happy smile, humming slightly as we headed for a nearby store.

I probably shouldn't encourage her to act childish, but...I can't help it, she's just way too cute...!

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Point-of-View: Rai Rumel

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"A...'haunted house'?"

"Yup, proud to say that this was one of my suggestions for this festival! Wanna check it out?" I suggested with a grin.

"I don't really get it, but I guess I don't mind seeing what it's like...," Responded Key with a shrug.

I'd been spending the last few days with Rion to help plan and set up this Valentine's festival, and while it'd been pretty fun, it was also kinda tiring and stressful.

But now, I get to enjoy it, to see the fruits of my labor...! Well, to be fair, I definitely had less of a workload than most of the others that were involved in the planning and preparation stages, but still, that doesn't mean it didn't wear me out.

Anyway, I'm excited for this...I've always wanted to check out a haunted house, never got the chance to do so in my previous life. It wasn't a concept in this world, sadly enough, since monsters already exist and aren't just fictional creatures.

Also, the concept of ghosts doesn't really exist here, so, you know, I doubt someone wearing a white sheet with eye-holes poked through would be enough to scare someone in this world. Huh, now that I think about it, would that even be enough to scare someone in my previous world? No, probably not.

"It's a bit dark in here...I can just barely see where I'm going, it's rather disconcerting," Muttered Key with a frown, as we entered the haunted house.

"Well, yeah, that's the point of a haunted house," I responded with a grin.

I already know what to expect from this place, since I was the one that designed it. Sure, I didn't do any of the actual heavy lifting, but I drew the layout and came up with ideas for how to scare people who walk in.

"Huh? Did you hear that?" Suddenly whispered Key, as a couple of faint, barely audible voices rang out creepily.

"Hm? What are you talking about, Key-Key? I don't hear a thing," I responded with a confused look on my face, playing dumb.

I'll make sure to maximize the scare factor, that way...that way, she'll go 'eek' and cling to my arm, pressing her boobs onto my elbow...! At least, that's what I'm hoping will happen. Specifically, I REALLY want that to happen.

Suddenly, I was startled and jumped in alarm as I felt something brush against the back of my neck, sending chills down my spine, before, a second later, Key let out a surprised cry and spun around rapidly, reaching for her waist to draw out her sword...but she'd left it back in our room, so yeah.

"H-hey, calm down, that was just a part of the haunted house, no need to get all alert and stuff," I calmed her down, as I placed my hands on her shoulders, "That was just someone using an invisibility spell."

Yeah, I'd suggested using invisibility spells on those who'd be doing the scaring, so I figured it out almost immediately after I felt the touch. Heh, but it's kinda embarrassing to have gotten so startled by an idea that I suggested. Huh, or to look at it another way, it's pretty cool that I came up with an idea so good that it even scared me, its creator!

"Oh, is that what that was? Good thing I didn't have my sword on me, I might have accidentally slashed them," She replied, as her body relaxed.

Uh, no, there would have been nothing accidental about that. Aw, man...I'm not getting an 'eek!' moment from her, am I...?

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