Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

Point-of-View: Fuo Wesroh

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"Stop following me around already," I sighed in exasperation.

"Aw, don't be like that, it's way too sad to be roaming around alone on Valentine's Day, let me keep you company!" Responded Selesa with a grin.

Kuro told me to relax today and enjoy the festival, since I'd been pretty busy lately. And it started off fine, I bought some chocolate to munch on and then wandered around the area as I ate.

It was a nice, pleasant walk and I was feeling pretty content...and that's when I ran into Selesa, who was also alone. Almost immediately as she spotted me, she rushed over, latched onto me and suggested that we spend the day together.

I don't exactly dislike her, and she's very attractive and all, but...she's a huge pervert. I mean, I think she's mellowed out just a tiny bit lately, but definitely not by a lot.

"Aren't you usually hanging around Ragiu? Why aren't you with him today?" I grumbled, giving in as she made it clear that she wasn't leaving.

"Huh? Oh, please, I'd barely consider him a friend. We just happen to be around each other a lot since we're both Sentinel-ranked, and Kuro pairs us up on missions since we're pretty familiar with each other's fighting styles," She replied with a groan, looking a little irritated.

Based on her expression and tone, it seems apparent that she genuinely finds Ragiu to be a pain...she did say that she barely considers him a friend though, so I guess she doesn't totally hate him...

"That's kinda surprising...I just assumed that you want to fuck anyone and everyone," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Oops, probably shouldn't have said that out loud...even the way she is, that might have been kinda hurtful-...

"Well, yeah, I don't really have standards or anything like that, I'd probably reciprocate most people coming on to me...but he just annoys me, so he's a rare exception," She shrugged in response.

Huh, so she's self-aware of her lack of standards.

"So, is the only reason why you decided to spend today with me because you happened to run into me?" I sighed, as I finished off the last of the chocolate I'd bought.

"Hm? I mean, I guess that's a part of it...but also, I like you, and we don't hang out enough!" She replied with a grin, before asking me with an innocent, wide-eyed expression, "Do you...dislike me?"

Wh-what the-...that expression is adorable! Though, admitting that to myself about her feels almost...wrong. And besides, she definitely put that expression on deliberately...

"N-no, uh, I don't dislike you, I just think you're too horny all the time," I responded, playing it cool to try and hide the fact that she'd caught me off-guard with that look.

"That's...fair enough. I definitely don't get laid as much as I'd like to," She sighed wistfully.

"Somehow, I doubt that's the case. Well, anyway, if you really insist on hanging around me, then we might as well check out some of the stores and other attractions that have been set up," I suggested, as a few stores caught my eye.

Despite her issues, she's really not a bad person, so I guess I don't mind spending the day with her...

"Sure, sounds good!" She responded eagerly, her eyes lighting up, "Leave it to me, as a Reincarnator, I know all about Valentine's Day!"

"Oh, uh, okay....I'll let you lead the way, Selesa," I replied, before she dragged me towards one of the nearby stores.

It was a chocolate eating challenge for couples, we'd be given a large amount of chocolate and have to finish it all within ten minutes. If we manage to finish it within the time limit, we won't be charged for it, but if we fail, then we have to pay, and it's pretty damn expensive.

Well, not that that's a real problem for me, since I have plenty of money saved up. Still, this challenge sounds pretty fun and interesting. As we entered the store, one of the attendants, a Demon, showed us to a table and informed us that our challenge will begin in a couple of minutes. It was kinda cold inside the store, I could see some Cooling Crystals along the walls.

Kuro was having the Vampires, Demons, Dragons, and some of the other monsters too, help run the stores and attractions. They were working in shifts, in order to give them all the opportunity to enjoy the festival themselves.

I have to admit, it's a pretty smart way of getting the people visiting from Liberty, Idyll and the Rustlands to get used to monsters in a non-hostile setting. Every single monster type in this world in under control now, most under Kuro, a couple under me, one under Azyl, and someone in the Rustlands has control over the undead monsters.

Well, technically speaking, the intelligent monsters aren't under anyone's control, but with the exception of the Demons that live in the Rustlands, all of them are loyal to Kuro, now more so than ever since he's even stronger than he was before.

Not to mention that he's been ruling over all of us fairly and competently, his leadership skills definitely haven't gone unnoticed by the monsters, many of whom are grateful to him. I mean, in the past, I bet none of these monsters would ever had pictured themselves in this current situation, living peacefully like this.

But they understood Kuro's intentions and were more than happy to help carry them out, because they know that Kuro won't do wrong by them, his actions till now have proven that.

And the effects of his rule are clear to see...the monsters that were helping run these stores looked happy and content. Slowly but surely, living human-like lives have become the norm for them...

"Oh, fuck, it's a chocolate ice cream cake!" Suddenly gasped Selesa, as the Demon brought out a large cake towards our table.

Wait...ice cream...cake? Ice cream and cake combined? I've...I've never tried something like that. It sounds absolutely heavenly...I want to try it!

"Apologies for the wait. Please, enjoy. Oh, and your ten minute time limit will begin when I flip this hourglass, are you ready to start?" Inquired the Demon, as he placed the cake between us, along with a knife to cut the cake and forks to eat it with.

I could feel a slight coldness from it...the frosting is ice cream! How did I not know that something like this exists!?

"Aw, man, I've gotta thank Rion, he's the one who came up with this-...well, I mean, all of us Reincarnators knew about it, but it was him who suggested implementing it in this world," Grinned Selesa, as she gulped in anticipation.

Oh, I see, this combination didn't exist in this world till now. Still, what's wrong with the Reincarnators, they knew of a dessert combo like this and didn't think to make it in this world till now!? Idiots.

"We're ready, you can flip the hourglass!" I said to the Demon, who nodded and flipped it.

The instant she did, I picked up the knife and swiftly cut the cake into eight, even slices, before lifting one up and placing it on my plate. And then, with a rising sense of anticipation, I picked up my fork and cut out the front of the slice, before raising it with the fork and eating it.

Ohhh...wowww. It's like heaven in my mouth. It's even better than I imagined...the cake was a dark chocolate cake, with a slight, pleasant bitterness to it, while the ice cream frosting was really rich and creamy, and was sweeter and lighter than the cake, complementing the bitterness perfectly.

And the warmth of my mouth melted the ice cream, which soaked into the cake-...oh, there's a thin layer of ice cream horizontally through the middle of the cake!

Before I knew it, I was absolutely wolfing it down, and without missing a beat, took another slice as I finished the first one...this is so good!

"D-damn...I think I'm...I think I'm full," Groaned Selesa, dropping her fork onto the plate with a strained exhale.

Huh? Already? It's only been-...woah, the cake's almost over! There's just one slice left...and most of the sand in the hourglass had fallen through. There's probably less than two minutes left.

I think I've eaten four slices...but I don't feel full, so I'm not a hundred percent sure about that. Actually, no, wait...my stomach does feel kinda stuffed, but my tastebuds are craving more cake.

"If you can't eat anymore, then I'll help myself...," I remarked with a lick of my lips, as I claimed the last slice and dug into it.

The ice cream was half-melted now, but that only enhanced the dessert, since the cake absorbed the melting ice cream into itself.

"Fuo, I am not sure that it is healthy to eat this much sugar-...," Began Atticus from inside me.

Oh, don't worry about it.

"But you-."

Look, I know you haven't had any lines or significance to the story in a while, but that doesn't mean that you can try to compromise my bliss right now!

"Wha-...that is a low blow! It is not my fault that I was briefly forgotten about by the auth-!"

That's enough, we're not supposed to talk about it.

"...you're the one who brought it up!"

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